bsmiles and sunny days

Every time I come into this little room, I think about writing something and then I'm whisked away in the next second to one of my many duties here and tell myself I'll write soon and that you all understand. Let me just say, this is way harder than I thought it was going to be; not when I read that our miracle was on it's way on that little stick in the bathroom ten months ago, I knew it'd be hard then. But when I gallantly told you all that we were planning to have six kids when it was all said and done, I didn't anticipate the gravity of that reality. I mean, we've had a baby in almost every difficult circumstance that our lives could possibly produce, so aside from being eight million miles from home, things are relatively stable this time and I thought it would be a little more simple than this. I mean, God has placed us right where He wanted us with Dale's career, we have great insurance, I am not working so I can be here with the baby, our school p...

I can't shake the feeling of relief I have every time I look at this baby. I am so relieved that I will never have to endure the difficulties of pregnancy, labor, delivery, and the wonder of postpartum recovery. I must sound like a broken record to my family, because every morning I wake up and think, "I am one day closer to being myself again." And with that, maybe staying myself for a while... But at the same time, I have this overwhelming sense of relief that God entrusted to us one more life, that I will get to hold this tiny bundle of life in my arms and watch her tiny face experience the world as new everyday. I might not have decided to go ahead with number six if He hadn't surprised us with her. And I was so worried about what life would be like with another girl, but now it seems so natural. God knew we needed her and that she needed us. And He gave her a real sturdy set of lungs to make sure that she can be heard no matter what kind of chaos is taking plac...

I should have waited for a few years to have babies... I know you can't undo your life, and we do the best we can for what we know in our youth, but if there was just one thing I could roll time back and redo, I'd have to change my methods of parenting right from the get-go. After number three, I started telling people I was going to journal my life with my new baby and publish it: the way I set up a baby on a schedule, the feedings, the sleeping, the resolve to let the baby sleep alone. I thought I really had it together; that should have been my first clue. I can't remember what it was like for me the first few days out of the hospital- out of five times, I don't remember anything about those first few weeks except crying a lot and watching every minute pass on the clock while I was nursing. With Leila, I did some research on the wise and all-knowing Internet and found that my methods were not only discouraged by real doctors, pediatricians , but those very thin...

Deisha Hazel Raine Sutton arrived at 9:02 Monday morning. She weighed 7 pounds 9 ounces, 20 inches long, decible of cry- off the charts. More to come...

I am so in love with him.

When I was in the seventh grade, I took shop class for the first time. Unbeknownst to me upon enrollment, one of the areas of study was a pinewood derby. Without any understanding of symmetry or drag or anything of the sort, I designed an orange hammerhead-shaped car that didn't place in any category, but I was really proud of that car. So when it was time to buy kits for the Awana derby, I got really revved up thinking we'd be spending hours sanding, painting, meticulously placing stickers, and then shellacking them up to race at top speed. Or Dale would do it and I would snap pictures and enjoy the busyness of the project from afar. But like a lot of things on my agenda, this little project got put on the back burner until the very last day. Oh, we had them cut at church so the kids all had their designs picked out and the shape in progress, but they were all just choppy blocks of wood sitting on dressers and in drawers. The prior post was Wednesday, turn in day. We had to ...

In case you were wondering, we still don't have a baby. Hopefully by Monday we will have big news and lots to tell. Pray that my body kicks in on its own soon!!!