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bsmiles and sunny days

"Be desirous of doing the will of another, rather than thine own. Choose always to have less, rather than to have more. Seek always to have the lowest place, and to be inferior to everyone. Wish always, and pray, that the will of God may be wholly fulfilled in Thee." E. Prentiss

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- August 01, 2007

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The Days

- August 14, 2023

I found this butterfly on the sidewalk one day. It was lifeless perfection. I couldn’t help but wonder if it just fell out of the sky mid-flight when the end came. It feels like that every time someone I know dies. The end comes abruptly and unexpectedly. It catches in my throat when I think about it. Sometimes there is no warning at all. When Dale’s dad died, I kept thinking, “That’s it. He crossed the finish line without seeing it coming.” There was no time to get better at living. There was no grand finale. It was game over. I’ve always lived with this idea that someday I’ll feel like I’ve arrived on a plateau where I can say, “This is it! This is the place I’ve been working toward all these years.” I’m starting to believe that doesn’t exist here. God designed us to faithfully walk with Him, day by day, through mountains and valleys, good times and bad, always moving but never arriving. With that knowledge, I want my regular, ordinary everydays to bring glory to the...

Bread

- July 24, 2007

I'm stealing away for a moment from the fast pace of our new life here because I can't bear to be away too long. The days race past and a walk feebly by the computer, gritting my teeth with resolution not to sit and write because there are other things pressing. I'm baking bread these days. Last week I baked a my first loaf of French bread and it was spectacular. I contemplated taking a picture of it; it was so lovely and delectable, but I decided to do it too late, after it have been torn into. My idea is, in an effort to save money, bake all the bread and freeze the milk. I have to go to the store every other day for milk or bread. Seriously, we go through so much of both that I can't go two days without going to the store. And I've realized that I spend about $50 everytime I go to the store. Now that's not always, but generally speaking, it's true. I have not disciplined myself to stick to the list yet and here's why. I get there, see fifteen...

finishing

- November 19, 2020

I was in an English class in high school studying handwriting analysis when I learned something really insightful about myself. I'm not a finisher. When I write my name without a real concerted effort, I start with big, strong letters, scrawl out the middle and end with a swoosh rather than anything legible. If you tried to interpret it, you might guess my name is Rebew Sutt. This is very telling. I am a visionary. I start strong, work diligently for about 80% of the project, and then finish with a scribble or a line or a pile of supplies and tools in the garage, leaving the last 20% undone indefinitely. That's why it felt like such a big deal to me when I placed the last piece in this puzzle. Early in the spring, Dale registered us for the ETS Annual Meeting in Rhode Island. He booked airfare, rented a car, and reserved our room. I was over the moon in anticipation of it. I love that part of the country and couldn't wait to go back. By the end of the summer, the conference...