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bsmiles and sunny days

"Be desirous of doing the will of another, rather than thine own. Choose always to have less, rather than to have more. Seek always to have the lowest place, and to be inferior to everyone. Wish always, and pray, that the will of God may be wholly fulfilled in Thee." E. Prentiss

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- August 01, 2007

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quicksand

- June 29, 2021

I had my first hand-held video game when I was in grade school. It had two buttons, L and R, that were used to dodge cars and debris in the road. I was insanely jealous when my brother was given a watch that he could play Pac-Man on. I love video games. I love them too much. When Dale and I were first married I used to sit at the computer and play Burger Shop for hours and hours. As a young mom I spent all my free moments playing Solitaire on the desktop. In my darkest depression I played Diner Dash while the days and weeks passed unnoticed. I can remember feeling the shame of wasting so much time staring at a screen. My hand would cramp up from holding the mouse, and instead of taking that as a cue to stop, I’d shake my hand out and keep clicking away. My vices, while they may seem harmless, entrap me nonetheless. Sugar and video games work like quicksand. I dip my toes in and before I know it I’m sick to my stomach and I can’t move my hand. Pornography is an easy dodge. Overind...

pruning

- June 08, 2021

This may come as a shock to some people, but I’m extremely maternal. The impulse to nurture shows up in the weirdest ways. I sweet-talk my sourdough. I pray over my plants and tell them they are beautiful. I have been doting on my little garden every chance I get. It’s brings me an unreasonable amount of happiness to go out in the cool of the day and watch the sprinkler sway, dousing each little plant with refreshment. With that in mind, you can see how it would pain me to pluck these beautiful buds off as they are beginning their formation. These are my strawberry plants. They need to spend their energy building a strong root system, rather than blooming and growing strawberries, at least not this year. It’s for their own good, but it still hurts me a little when they are trying so hard. Don’t worry, little darlings... Next year you will bring a bountiful harvest the likes of which you cannot even begin to imagine! “...every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it...

Monday, Happy Monday!

- August 30, 2010

I think about this blog a lot during the day. If I could be down here writing all the time, and it's probably a good thing I can't, I would. Let me first apologize for not including more pictures. I really don't like it when people post web cam photos of themselves in every post just to fancy it up. It seems silly. You know what I look like; it only changes when I am pregnant or have a major event coming up that I want to be skinnier for. What you are really hoping to find is a photograph of my kids or our house or something creative- like a bug or a project. You don't want to see me with my frumpy "stay in the house all day" hair and my smeared mascara from last night because I don't shower until we are about ready to walk out the door or Dale is about to walk it... It's just the way it is. I know you, the few, the faithful, will return and read- if not skim- this post; dazzling photos or not! It's because you love m...