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The Days

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I found this butterfly on the sidewalk one day. It was lifeless perfection. I couldn’t help but wonder if it just fell out of the sky mid-flight when the end came.  It feels like that every time someone I know dies. The end comes abruptly and unexpectedly. It catches in my throat when I think about it. Sometimes there is no warning at all.  When Dale’s dad died, I kept thinking, “That’s it. He crossed the finish line without seeing it coming.” There was no time to get better at living. There was no grand finale. It was game over. I’ve always lived with this idea that someday I’ll feel like I’ve arrived on a plateau where I can say, “This is it! This is the place I’ve been working toward all these years.” I’m starting to believe that doesn’t exist here. God designed us to faithfully walk with Him, day by day, through mountains and valleys, good times and bad, always moving but never arriving.  With that knowledge, I want my regular, ordinary everydays to bring glory to the...
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Bread

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I'm stealing away for a moment from the fast pace of our new life here because I can't bear to be away too long. The days race past and a walk feebly by the computer, gritting my teeth with resolution not to sit and write because there are other things pressing. I'm baking bread these days. Last week I baked a my first loaf of French bread and it was spectacular. I contemplated taking a picture of it; it was so lovely and delectable, but I decided to do it too late, after it have been torn into. My idea is, in an effort to save money, bake all the bread and freeze the milk. I have to go to the store every other day for milk or bread. Seriously, we go through so much of both that I can't go two days without going to the store. And I've realized that I spend about $50 everytime I go to the store. Now that's not always, but generally speaking, it's true. I have not disciplined myself to stick to the list yet and here's why. I get there, see fifteen...
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Everywhere

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Since I was a teenager I led worship in youth group, church meetings, the local rally at the park... I thought it was the crown jewel of all church positions to lead worship, thus making me the crown jewel. (I am embarrassed to admit that.) It was like I was something when I was behind the piano with a microphone. I never believed I was the greatest singer or that I had phenomenal gifts for worship, I just thought I had a special anointing, like it was what I was born to do. And then when we moved to Missouri I took on the glamorous position of Certified Nurse's Aide. That means I do everything that a higher paid, more educated person doesn't want to do, the jobs that are beneath them. I used to quake every time someone told me to do something petty because they didn't want to walk up the hall. I would think, "Do you have any idea who I am and what I'm capable of?" and the Holy Spirit would whisper into my heart "This is who you are, are you capable of it...
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