therapy
I wish I had a great story to tell you about how amazing these past few weeks have been and how I’ve overcome my anxiety in leaps and bounds, but as much as I hate to say it, the darkness has nearly overtaken me.
I’ve been asking God for relief from it around the clock. At times I feel like my heart will pound out of my chest and my oxygen levels must be barely life-sustaining because I notice myself gasping for air in random settings, but when I check my pulse, it’s normal. I don’t understand it. It’s haunting.
It helps to do normal things. I continue to make a list of six things I want to accomplish every morning when I get out of bed. It gives me a place to begin and an end. Today we made apple turkeys. It’s an age-old tradition in my family. It was a major accomplishment to get it done before Thanksgiving Day.
We live in a mad, mad world, and the tensions therein pull us in all directions. However, we are not those belonging to the wild, ranting and writhing in darkness. We are anchored in Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.
“...we who have taken refuge would have strong encouragement to take hold of the hope set before us. This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast and one which enters within the veil,”
Oh Becca, I wish I had something more encouraging to say. I am sorry you are in a dark night. Hold fast to hope, dear friend. I will be praying for you!
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