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bsmiles and sunny days

"Be desirous of doing the will of another, rather than thine own. Choose always to have less, rather than to have more. Seek always to have the lowest place, and to be inferior to everyone. Wish always, and pray, that the will of God may be wholly fulfilled in Thee." E. Prentiss

Mercybaby

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- March 17, 2011

sigh...

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NanaMarch 18, 2011 at 12:16 PM
...mercy...
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quicksand

- June 29, 2021

I had my first hand-held video game when I was in grade school. It had two buttons, L and R, that were used to dodge cars and debris in the road. I was insanely jealous when my brother was given a watch that he could play Pac-Man on. I love video games. I love them too much. When Dale and I were first married I used to sit at the computer and play Burger Shop for hours and hours. As a young mom I spent all my free moments playing Solitaire on the desktop. In my darkest depression I played Diner Dash while the days and weeks passed unnoticed. I can remember feeling the shame of wasting so much time staring at a screen. My hand would cramp up from holding the mouse, and instead of taking that as a cue to stop, I’d shake my hand out and keep clicking away. My vices, while they may seem harmless, entrap me nonetheless. Sugar and video games work like quicksand. I dip my toes in and before I know it I’m sick to my stomach and I can’t move my hand. Pornography is an easy dodge. Overind...

finishing

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I was in an English class in high school studying handwriting analysis when I learned something really insightful about myself. I'm not a finisher. When I write my name without a real concerted effort, I start with big, strong letters, scrawl out the middle and end with a swoosh rather than anything legible. If you tried to interpret it, you might guess my name is Rebew Sutt. This is very telling. I am a visionary. I start strong, work diligently for about 80% of the project, and then finish with a scribble or a line or a pile of supplies and tools in the garage, leaving the last 20% undone indefinitely. That's why it felt like such a big deal to me when I placed the last piece in this puzzle. Early in the spring, Dale registered us for the ETS Annual Meeting in Rhode Island. He booked airfare, rented a car, and reserved our room. I was over the moon in anticipation of it. I love that part of the country and couldn't wait to go back. By the end of the summer, the conference...

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We have a 90 pound boxer named Jasper. Given the opportunity, he will run for the hills. Tonight I made fajitas for dinner on a cast iron skillet and smoked out the place. We don’t have great ventilation in our kitchen, so I just opened the doors and windows and turned on the fans. The only thing blocking the door was the broom that held the door open, which has to be propped open because there are self-closing hinges on it. To keep Jasper in, you know? Well, I got a little distracted with all the pots on the stove and he crept closer and closer to the door, hoping to make a break for it. When the kids caught on to his plan, the set up a blockade for him. First they set the bikes in a row to close off the open space. Then they put the boots in a line to... I guess they were there to trip him up before the bikes. It was a perfect setup. The only problem was that if Jasper had had the opportunity to get out, he would have made a break for it. The broom and the boots and the bikes c...