bsmiles and sunny days

                                                                                                          *Definition credit to Google These words keep echoing in my mind.  Holding pattern. I have described my position in my situation as ...being held in the eye of the storm. ...walking on water. ...I am not among those who are without hope. And I am not.  I am safe. I have found my rest in Christ.  He will never leave me, nor forsake me. I'm find. I'm good. I'm not falling apart.  The Lord has kept me. This morning these words spoke to me: 12  Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold  of that for ...

God has been preparing me for something, too. I keep saying... "God is changing me." "God is speaking to me" "God is showing me things" I had no idea it would be for tragedy. God was preparing me for my worst nightmare to come in and wreck my life. His preparation was: Slowing down my life. Clearing out all distractions. Strengthening my confidence in who He created me to be. Deepening my desperation for Him so that I crave the Word of God every single day. Surrounding me with godly women that will speak life to me. Because of this, I have no fear. I am not consumed with anxiety. I do not feel discarded. I have a rein on my emotions. I have hope. This is what He chose me for. I am His. Nothing is scary when God is the strength of your life and your portion forever. Today I was driving into the storm, knowing difficult conversations would have to happen and children's hearts would be broken. I was praying and people all...

Algebra is the most difficult subject I've ever taught. It's probably because I think I understand it, and I don't exactly, but I know how to get answers. When you're teaching from that perspective, you can easily lead your kid astray. With Kennedy, I spent hours writing out long steps to problems that I eventually resolved, ending up with the wrong answer, only to find out that I was doing it wrong the whole time. My saving grace came in the form of Teaching Textbooks. This company has a brilliant system of virtual tutoring that has allowed me to continue homeschooling with some dignity.  So last week I was sitting with Jasmine watching a lesson on algebraic fractions and the teacher says, "So this time we are going to undo this, remember back a few lessons ago when I showed you how to undo?" Then we went back and watched the "undoing" lesson over, and I was in shock and awe that after all these years I've never heard (or remember hearing) that ...

It comes out of nowhere. You're going along in your life, everything is good and happy and you're on top of the mountain singing at the top of your lungs, living the dream and before you know it you're down. Like face plant. With no air. Ever been there? Job. Had. It. All. And it was cruelly stripped from him all at once. Wealth. Family. Marriage. Health. And there he sat in ashes and misery. I'm certainly not there. But, I am on the ground. Like, laid out. With no air. What I want to do is lock down. Give it up. Run. Hide. I want a redo. But I know the end of this story. I know how God works... I've seen it a thousand times. He picks up all the pieces and rearranges them in a way that, who knew, they would fit? It's better after the tsunami than it ever could have been before. Praise God for His breath when mine is full of dirt and tears. Mountaintops and valleys. lvb

I got a few messages from my dreamy Dreamboat today that things had gone from bad to worse at work. When he got home I suggested we take a drive to Richmond to visit his mama. Being at her house brings him comfort that nothing else can. He was happy to oblige, and we hit the road almost as soon as he pulled in. We were greeted with warmth and cheers and hugs and food. The longer we sat, the more people showed up. The smell of the grill and cigarette smoke wafted in and out of the garage where we sat around a long folding table covered by a festive vinyl tablecloth. I grew up with those smells from my grandparents' house. It takes me back to so many happy memories that I drink it in. There were half-full water bottles in front of every other chair. A few plates were scattered among the various things on the table. The aunts laughed randomly at inside jokes about each other. The kids ran and played in the grass, embraced by a cool fall breeze. I sat and stared at the sky t...

We weren't going to have anymore babies. Eight was enough. Remember when I went the random doctor I found in the phone book, and he scheduled me for a hysterectomy before he knew what was wrong with me? And then, remember, my OB/GYN told me to hold off on that so we could do some biopsies to rule out cancer?  And do you also remember how on the DAY that my original hysterectomy was scheduled, I found out that I was pregnant with Clinton? #miraclesbegin The day Clinton was scheduled to be born, we didn't hurry to the hospital. This was very familiar to both of us. It was early enough to still be dark, but not too early for Wendy's to be open. After a stop at the gas station, we headed to the hospital. It was a quiet drive with mild tension. I've always felt like our family had been so blessed with healthy pregnancies, safe deliveries, and perfect babies, that it was our turn for disaster. Every time, every pregnancy, I spent 9 months embracin...

credit to  kentuckysportsradio.com I have always tried to keep an eye out for the best leverage with each of my kids; it's different with each one. However, junk food is a universal kid language. That's why this system is so genius. It works for everyone, big and small! AND when my world is caving in around me, I have access to all of this good coping junk food!! Haha! So here's how it works. Do chores, get Mombux. Spend Mombux in the snack bar. I don't keep track of Mombux . I know who earns them and who doesn't. For the most part we use the honor system. (which has come back to bite me in the hiney a few times, but I can't keep track of these details, and it isn't that important to me.) But, if I think someone is lying, I ask how they earned their Mombux. That may trigger my memory, or it may not. It's a little bit of accountability.  I don't have a chart of what each chore is worth.  Here's an idea of the value of so...

I love systems. Systems work when you put them in place and reinforce them with routine. What happens at my house, tell me I'm not alone here, is, I spend a month thinking about a system that might work. Then I spend a weekend putting it together, writing it down, making charts and graphs and algorithms that will ensure it's functionality. With grand fanfare, I introduce it and get the kids on-board. And THEN we try it. For a month-ish... AAAANNNDDD that's it. Whether it works or not, this is how  most  of my systems go. However, I have a had a few home run hitters that stuck. My Mombux system is one of the record-breakers. I laugh out loud every time someone asks me how it works because it started out as a joke. There was a reference to Mombux on the Diary of a Wimpy Kid movies. I've never seen them or I'd quote it for you, but one of the boys told me he wished I gave out Mombux. In the movie, 1 Mombuck equals one dollar, like a real dollar. (insert ridiculou...

We played with the doll houses. This is one of the areas I'm slowing down in. I'm terrible about stopping life to play. I've raised my kids on the premise that children need to entertain themselves, and all the while I was taking a free pass to not play with them. They need our attention on their levels in their worlds. We can give that to them. But seriously, this was easy. It was so easy. I just took the Barbie and made her say mom things like... "Hey ki-ids... Come clean up this mess! It looks like a tornado came through here!" I'm not even sure why they want me in the game, but they loved it so much.  It only takes a few minutes, mama. Slow down. Play with your kids today!! Lvb

Everything this little girls draws has lots of people. Her life is full of people and noise and stuff and all the fun and drama that comes with that.  And speaking of big family life... Yesterday was Sunday. Sunday is always a big day for us because it's one of very few days of the week that we have to be ready to be somewhere in the morning. I was on top of the world when we left the house right on time. No one was yelling. No one was crying. Everyone was excited to go. Now, on lovely spring and fall mornings, our church sets up a canopy over the breakfast tables so that the congestion around the food is lessened. I love this because we tend to be in the way, pretty much everywhere we go, so I'm constantly herding my crew through the line so other people can get in. Before we even got out of the car, I noticed a little spot on my already wrinkled white linen blouse. I straightened it out and noticed another. There were a few more drops and a big group of spots on the hemline, ...

Remember that day when your dreamy romance became a forever promise... The day you were given a ring and a hope of things to come from the man of your dreams? I walked around in a flurry of excitement for weeks. I flashed my ring as often as possible. I wanted to tell EVERYONE!! "Look at me! I'm getting married!! He chose ME! He wants me forever!! I'm getting married!!" That's what I feel like right now. Only it's not that I'm getting married. (I'm already married, silly!) I'm engaged with our Father. He's calling me to something new and giving me a promise of things to come. I want to shout it from the rooftops, but it's a matter of keeping my pearls tucked away and not tossed out to be trampled. I have this terrible habit of speaking too soon... That's why I'm here with you. You share my dreams and keep my secrets, my sweet friends. God is speaking to me so clearly lately. He's asking me to do hard things. He...