bsmiles and sunny days

Two weeks ago my in-laws got on an airplane and disappeared across the wide blue yonder, forever away, but before they left I unloaded my sister-in-laws memory card onto computer so I'd have something to document their visit with. When people come to visit, I savor every moment, constantly reminding myself to not take a single second for granted. In the process, I neglect everything, namely taking my own pictures, but also housework, cooking, everything but showering and enjoying my company. Someday I won't be so deprived of such companionship and I'll be a good hostess again, but for now, it is what it is and I am more grateful for the visits than my visitors can imagine. So here are some of the pictures April took. She managed to snap, in six days, 224 pictures of things that I have somehow taken for granted in the day-to-day monotony of my busy life. Everyone in this family is a gamer, so the opportunity to play games together never escapes us. This is where we all sit a...

At least we still have this... This gap between Christmas and the new year is always bitter sweet. Leila still cheers and makes scary ghost sounds every time she sees a pumpkin, so I'm sure she'll morn the disappearance of Santa Clause's face everywhere we go. It's sad, but it will make next year all the more magical when the season rolls around again. In the keeping with the spirit of starting new, I stripped the walls and yard of all the festive decor of season today. I can't believe how bare the walls are; as ready as I am to box it all up for the year, it still makes me a little sad to put it all away. Every year I wish there was a way I could keep the merriment year-round, only making the efforts seasonally neutral, not just a celebration of Christmas. Of course there are always other holidays, but you know... it's just not the same. On the other hand, Dale was relieved to see it go. He loves the decorations as much as I do, but he also suffers mildly from ...

With school out of session for still over a week left, I feel invigorated and inspired to start the new year fresh. So, I decided to start with the area most in need of my attention-- the boys' room. Let me tell you something about these boys. A few years ago, I told Micah that he didn't have to put his jeans in the laundry after every wear, that he could wear them a few times and then we'd wash them unless they were dirty or stinky before that. He has since contended that I said he could wear all clothes for two or three days. I have seen him wear an outfit, sleep in it, and then attempt to wear it the next day, which is when I intervene. You can imagine the laundry that doesn't make it out of his room on the days I'm not paying attention. Tre is light years away from Micah. If his shirt-sleeve gets wet, he wants to change everything. For some reason, he doesn't mind being bathed in ketchup and proceeding through the rest of the day in those clothes. ...

I gotta tell you, I'm getting worse and worse about snapping pictures. In the entire week with my in-laws, I didn't take a single picture! And then on Christmas morning, I got the video camera out for a few minutes and that was that. I was so busy untangling the web of wire the put into each box that I wouldn't have had much of a chance to anyway. I am sure we'll remember each Christmas specific to where we are and who came. This year Christmas morning seemed a little- dare I say it- daunting after everyone left. I had to give myself a little pep talk and remember that sometimes it's us against the world and we have a life together, regardless of where the extensions of our family may be. I missed you all terribly and am still teary thinking about the entire holiday season so far from home. But we made the very best of it and I am thankful again for the abundance of God's blessing on our home. We woke up early to lots of shuffling feet and loud whispers,...

We've had a flurry of activity and a houseful of laughter for days now and I'm not sure I can go back to my real life when this all passes. My second family, Dale's mom and dad and sister and nephew, arrived Sunday after church and our lives will never be the same. We've been busy taking them all over the state of California to see all the magic that draws millions to this area every year. We went to the lovely Surf Beach, just a few miles from our house the first day. It was fantastic since there was miraculously no fog and the sun was setting. The next day we had the worst storm in the history of the central coast- which means it rained for more than five minutes. It actually rained all day and night. That is unheard of. Unfortunately, we had scheduled Solvang, the little Dutch town for that day and froze under umbrellas as we strolled down the strip. After basketball practice we took all the kids bowling on base and had a lovely dinner at the snack bar, my p...

I've been pining for our annual trip to the Plaza to see the lights and the hustle and bustle and whatever wonderful surprise awaits us. One year there was a bagpipe ensemble playing despite the snow flurries right out on a busy corner. We were eating breakfast one morning and we all listed the things we wished we could spend the day doing. I said, of course, I wanted to go to the Crown Center, have lunch at Fritz's where you order your food on a telephone and it's delivered by a train that runs on a track around the entire restaurant. Then we'd go spend some time walking around the Plaza until they lit it up. Kennedy wanted to go to Westroads Mall in Omaha, Micah wanted to go to Cabellas and ride the Ferris wheel, and Tre wanted to do something in New York. I can't remember what it was, I just know it was pretty outrageous. Since we couldn't accomplish any of these tasks, we decided to go to San Luis Obispo for shopping and dinner. It's a nice city,...

We have a new favorite song... you have to hear it. http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=8777613 Last year it was Silent Night by Five for Fighting. It's like every time we find a good one, it opens a new chapter of our lives. Did you ever see Elizabethtown? I loved that movie and I think it's because of the soundtrack, it was perfect for the journey and reminiscent of mine. We are constantly adding to the soundtrack, marking the path with a new song every little bit of the way. Music does something to me. Sometimes I dream about singing in an opera when my kids are grown. I'm not looking for a spotlight, I just love to sing. When I was in high school, I used to wait until the sanctuary was cleared and the lights were out and then stand in the balcony and bellow out worship in the auditorium. The walls were bare and the ceiling as high as heaven, sot he natural acoustics were amazing. It was satisfying to just let it out. There'...

We had the funniest conversation sitting around the table for lunch today about armpit hair. Kennedy has been involved in a basketball clinic all week, run by the high school boys team. Apparently she hasn't noticed this masculine feature before because she was pretty grossed out by it. The kids were all saying that if women had it, it would be disgusting, to which I only chuckled. She asked me if I knew about this discovery and I said, "Well how do you know they all have it?" She said, "Mom, they have to reach over us to get the ball sometimes and it's-- eww!!" She recoiled at the very real thought of it. This brought a real sense of awe to me at the privilege of being able to watch each one of these children discover the world through their own eyes and experiences. Tre read his first sentence today, to me, under my instruction, after many (agonizing) long weeks of building on seemingly crumbled blocks. Somehow, somewhere along the way, it clicked ...

I waited two days to snap these pictures for you viewing pleasure and found that I was almost too late. There has been some minor demolishion in the village. A few years ago we discovered that instead of making complicated frosting to stand our graham crackers up together, we could use almond bark, which dried much faster, melts much easier, and held the seams tighter. You can also use it for snow and ice. The first gingerbread house we attempted was a kit with real gingerbread and frosting in it. We bought two kits, since the kids were small, and build two houses, which we spend hours trying engineer the impossibility of their construction. Finally Dale took an iron fist and smashed them both to bits and then we had a good laugh and went out for dinner to decompress. After that I made my own gingerbread, set up the houses the night before and the decorating was a breeze. In my fragile estate, I didn't have the energy or the will power to make the gingerbread, so we built these ...

Last week we took Max and dropped him off at the vet for his surgery. This is what he came home with!!! This lovely little number is a 25 inch cone that he wears all the time for two weeks. It's been the longest, most agonizing week of his life. Poor guy can't lick anything but the cone, so that's what he does. He lays down on the couch and licks that cone! Micah insists that we call him Rhino until he gets the cone off because he plows through the house, already convinced that he's a lap dog, squeezing his nearly fifty pounds and 25 inches of plastic through tiny crevices throughout the house, knocking over furniture and small children that might be in the path. He just cracks me up!

This is what I look like today. The last time I posted a picture of myself, I laughed and laughed about that post because it was so awful and who posts an awful picture of themself just for kicks? One of the kids had walked in with my camera, snapped the picture of me, still pajama-clad, and I was not quite ready but started to smile when it flashed, which left me with a strange expression on my face. I don't know, I did it for a laugh. And then I got a few comments, live comments, from people who were upset by the post. Not offended, just worried, I guess. My poor family. I think they all know I'm a little nuts, but that really tipped the scales past my normal insanity. So, I promised to post a better one. And for my friends far away that have requested a belly shot, here it is. One of the kids took this one too and I'm not as excited about posting it as I was the other, but it shows my tummy, and that's what we need here. Plus I don't look so pasty and, ...

These are the days we will remember. The novice Thanksgiving feast turned out to be better than I thought it would. Besides scorching the green beans and water-logging the potatoes, I was pleased with the way it all turned out and so were all who feasted on it. I announced that the children would be doing all the clean up since I had already washed all the pots and pans and scrubbed the counters, but Dale went to bat for them and commenced the clean up himself. We watched the parade from start to finish, had a huge meal, fell asleep on the couch to the Cowboys game, and then headed to the park for a rousing game of kickball. And football. And Basketball. And swings. Then we loaded up in the truck and went to Albertson's to get supplies for our Charlie Brown Thanksgiving feast. This was Kennedy's contribution to our feast: fruit shish kabobs on a cantaloupe boat full of whipped cream. I love Charlie Brown. I love the music, the characters, the simplicity, the novelty; I love it...

I had this great idea a week ago. It was the idea that if I started early, I would be able to pace myself being that this is my first time EVER to prepare the Thanksgiving feast. In the past I had no idea how much work went into the feast and I didn't lift a finger to contribute. For that I offer my sincere apologies. Later I began to recognize the exhaustion of the host as a symptom of a project that must've taken a lot of work and volunteered my services in the clean-up. Most recently living in Richmond, every year I would ask, "Do you want me to bring anything?" to the feast for nearly fifty relatives and Dale would quickly say, "No, no, you don't have to bring anything, they've got it," and give a nod to his mother like he had *handled* it. I never was offended by this because generally I had to work that night or the night before and knew it would be difficult to juggle the stress of bringing anything to the table that didn't compare to the ...

of my favorite things.

There's bittersweet air about us as we say our final farewell to football. Today is the superbowl and we lost our tickets to our loss last weekend. Today is the party where all the kids will get trophies and run around together just for fun, probably for the first time since the season started. When I found out we'd have practice everyday for the first five week and then games all over the state every weekend, I went a little cuckoo. But once we got the groove, I looked forward to being out in the cool of the day with the sun shining because I could just sit and watch while the kids ran and played and screamed and wrestled with the other siblings. It was a little intimidating at first too, to have to load the troops at 5:30 in the cold to drive long distances to watch our peewees play games, but that too just became part of the routine. Now that it's all said and done, I'm a little sad that I won't have all the same kids to cheer for next time, or the same parents ...

Therefore having been justified by faith we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we also exult in our trubulations knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope. And hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. And hope does not disappoint. Love never fails. We have fixed our hope on the living God. This hope we have as an ANCHOR of the soul.

It's God's kindness that leads to repentance . The virtuous woman was known for teaching kindness. Let your kindness be evident to all. And the fruit of the spirit is... kindness. How can my life be so saturated by these words that are ever present in my life, and yet my heart be full of dark words of wrath that spill out every time I get bumped? Anger, sarcasm, frustration, fits of rage, condescension ... forgive me God. I am weak and foolish. Make me a vessel of Your kindness. Not politeness and courtesy that I am so accustomed to extending to virtual strangers in my world, but the true kindness of the Spirit that leads people to repentance .

Today is the last day of the quarter for our school calendar and we are scrambling to tie up loose ends before tomorrow, my face-to-face parent-teacher meeting. This is where we turn in a work sample from each subject and she tests the kids on their progress. I've been a nervous wreck for two weeks trying to come up with all the necessary samples and testing myself in case we don't come out ahead. I have felt really confident about this program and my abilities to complete for quite a while now. After we got the hang of the schedule and the groove of the curriculum, I felt like we were smooth sailing. Now that it's time to test the progress, we'll see if we meet the mark. I guess the worst thing that could happen is that I'll have to redo some lessons and I won't get a gold star for perfection. This leads me to my next point. Every day that goes by, at some point in the day I wonder if this is what they do. You know, do they keep a tidy house all the ti...

this is what I look like now; you don't even have to say it because I already know, it's a photoshop masterpiece. As I was thumbing through the most recent upload, I found px of Lolly's birthday, Kennedy and Micah's birthday party, and a whole slew of football game px. I thought about posting a hodge podge but decided when I came across this beauty, that it was a necessary post. As I was primping for church this morning, it crossed my mind that maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to apply a little mascara to those white eyelashes and then I grabbed my purse, thought about how much I'd like to have a cup of coffee, and shut off the lights on my way out the door. It wasn't a hurried morning, as is the Sunday morning custom, but these were just two luxury items on the list that didn't make the cut. In the past four months, I can probably count on one hand the number of times that I've applied make-up. Dale doesn't really care whether I wear it or ...

We all got up late Thanksmas morning, and Dale went straight to the kitchen to prepare a lovely brunch for us all! I was so thrilled! This year's new tradition is Thanksmas Mountain which is comprised of biscuits, fried potatoes, and scrambled eggs, smothered in gravy and hot sauce. Dale was the only partaker; I was so sick from the Halloween festivities that I had to stick with the safe road, but next year, I'll be all over Thanksmas Mountain! We got our tree up, the same 6 foot tree that my mom purchased for us on our first Christmas, and followed the Thanksmas tradition of trying to *make that funky thing look normal.* Every year we grow more attached to that thing, even though it's crooked and falls down a few more times than it did the last year. The kids put up all the ornaments as beloved holiday tunes rang through the house, and then we headed to Wal-Mart to choose some new lawn decorations. In honor of the deceased goat that had faded and rusted after it's thir...

Every year we wait until about a week past prime time to buy costumes and end up with the picked-over left-overs. I used to think I'd make the costumes every year, like my mom always did, but after I spent $70 on ET, it was just cheaper to shell out the cash. This year we continued the tradition, so as precious as they are, these weren't anyone's first choice. But they were thrilled to all be matching once it was decided. Besides, aren't they sweet??? Everyone in the neighborhood commented on my clone troopers when they rang our doorbell. Leila tried to go down the street with them, but the scary haunted house at the end of the lane sent her home screaming. Inside the house, we opted for an endless It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown marathon and the treating of the Trick or Treaters. We have never lived in an area that I trusted enough to send my kids out on their own to knock on doors because we live in a scary world peppered with spooky people. This year, how...

I think *homesick* is a state of mind, or being, or something more than a way you feel. On a daily basis I mill through a long list of things I miss about the Midwest, usually it starts with dirt while I'm sweeping up sand one of the forty-seven times during the day. I never wanted to be a homebody. As a kid I envied the new kids in school that would arrive in October and be gone by May first because "they moved around a lot". I was born in one house and five years later moved to another house less than a mile away, and that is where my parents will spend the rest of their lives. In high school I pined for a life on the road, seeking anyone that would let me tag along. It wasn't that I was discontent with my family or the life they gave me; it was just in my blood to get out and see the rest of what was out there. So I spent weeks at my Grandma's house, worked summer camps as often as possible, found people that would take me out Emporia for the weekend, and ...

Outside of the vast foundational moral reasons that we homeschool, there are safety concerns that also haunt our public schools and with less and less parents parenting, the concerns are skyrocketting. Not only that, but the need for teachers is so great that passionate teachers with a love for our children are being teamed up next to predators with wicked intentions. I am always hesitant to express these grave concerns very often because they are scary and I had never recorded any real evidence, only using secondhand isolated stories that I'd heard on the news and from other parents, until today when I was perusing the headlines and found this: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071020/ap_on_re_us/teacher_sex_abuse I know some people will quickly scan the article so I want to share one quote with you from it, just to highlight the severity of the problem. "From my own experience — this could get me in trouble — I think every single school district in the nation has at least one per...

One of the scriptures I read in the study recently was * 1 John 4:7-8 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.* This is a startling realization that forces me into some serious self-examination. I love God, and as a rule, I love people, but sometimes I find myself with a permanent scowl on my face out in the community. I don't hate everyone around me, but it seems I've become so cynical, just waiting for someone to cross me, that I'm ready to attack at any given moment. What does that say about the love of Christ in me? I shudder at the thought... how am I any different than anyone in the world? I have really pondered this question and last night while I was studying, the last thing in the workbook said to read Ephesians 3:14-19 and personalize it as a prayer. This little exercise brought such clarity to me and relinquished the pressure to...

We are six days into the antibiotic regimen and I am thankful. Kennedy used to throw up with every dosage no matter what it was. I attribute that to the fact that when she was tiny she had to have her stomach emptied in the hospital with some awful remedy that she was given by mouth. They say it takes about fifteen minutes to take effect, but it only took a couple before she hurled and hurled and hurled. At *almost* 10 she still has to choke it down, but now it's a battle between mind and body. She's amazing, such a fighter. It used to be a nightmare when they all went on antibiotics because they follow her. So, if she panicked, they all did. Now she's coaxing herself into taking it slowly but surely, and also encouraging everyone else to be so brave and do the same thing. No one else has the trouble she does with it so her encouragement has instigated an excitement about taking medicine. In response, she wants to be a part of every one's dosage. She takes hers, so Mica...

I can't believe it's been so long since I sat down here and spilled my guts! Dale came home and it took a little while to adjust to the homecoming and work schedule, and then our sweet, sweet friends came and rang our doorbell and sat at our dining room table and slept in our beds and made us feel like we were home again. I would post all the glorious pictures of our visit if I had taken any, but somehow we spent three days together and didn't snap a single shot!!! I cherish it none the less, because they were here in real life, in our house, laughing and staying up too late with us, and it was just what we needed. And then we all got sick, sick, sick. Tre went down first. *I'm still praying that our company didn't pack it up and carry it across the miles home with them!* When Tre spiked 103, I called the nurse help line and they sent us to Urgent Care. We waited in the waiting room for two hours and then waited in our exam room for another hour. We should have gott...

Yesterday at football practice Kennedy and I were going over the schedule for today, which I promised would be full of fun and excitement including the 99cents store, the McDonald's play land, and a half-day of school in honor of Dale's homecoming; a celebration before we pick him up since it would be late. As she turned to walk away I heard myself say, "Then we'll get Daddy, and I'll get my breath back..." The last time we spent this long of a succession apart was right after I had Tre; he had a job in KC and I had a job in Burlington, we were both commuting from Emporia. He worked M-F and I left Friday night when he got home to go to work F-Su nights. It was agonizing. I don't recall how many weeks were lived like that, but we all cried every time he got back into the car to leave. Families just aren't designed to live together part-time. So you can imagine the strickening I felt in my chest when he got in the car three weeks ago and drove to t...

I don't know if you know this about me, you probably don't. But I have a new plan. Every so often I re-evaluate my life and configure a plan to set my feet straight and the wheels in motion for success in whatever it is that I'm failing at. Those things have been the same for the last, oh I don't know, all of my life: weight loss, organization, time management, devotions, kindness, anger management... you know, your run of the mill disappointments in a person. The thing about this pregnancy is that I've never felt like I couldn't do it before. I would look at the test and laugh about the irony of the situation, always landing on the least opportune time in my life, and think, "Alright. Here we go!" This time I'm-- I'm in denial, I think. I stared at that little window on my bathroom cabinet waiting for the *not* to appear before the *pregnant* at any minute. And what's worse, I was putting clothes away the other day and decided I sh...