bsmiles and sunny days

I think about this blog a lot during the day.  If I could be down here writing all the time, and it's probably a good thing I can't, I would.  Let me first apologize for not including more pictures.  I really don't like it when people post web cam photos of themselves in every post just to fancy it up.  It seems silly.  You know what I look like; it only changes when I am pregnant or have a major event coming up that I want to be skinnier for.  What you are really hoping to find is a photograph of my kids or our house or something creative- like a bug or a project.  You don't want to see me with my frumpy "stay in the house all day" hair and my smeared mascara from last night because I don't shower until we are about ready to walk out the door or Dale is about to walk it...  It's just the way it is.  I know you, the few, the faithful, will return and read- if not skim- this post; dazzling photos or not!  It's because you love m...

I have to tell you, the co-op was not what I expected.  We were happily surprised to see lots of children in each of the kids' age groups- which shouldn't have been a surprise being that I had a kid in almost every class.  They all had lots of fun and I was in the nursery for most of the day.  Listen. I'm not a nursery gal.  I did it and it was fine, but I did not love it.  I was, however, grateful for the taco soup at the end of the tunnel!  It's silly, but knowing that I had dinner in the crockpot made it so much easier not to stop at a drive-through on the way home.  The kids were practically begging.  One mention of taco soup shut it down.  Seriously!  There is no doubt that if I had not made dinner it would have been double cheeseburgers all the way. Poor Dale did not get his QT hot dog, not from me anyway.  By the time he and Leila made it home from their special day, I was already in jammies and snuggled down f...

The Movie Marathon was just what we needed.  I took the kids to the library to get their movies, and then we went to Price Chopper to pick up everything we needed for Root Beer floats and Scamboli Bread.  It was a real treat for the kids; snapped me right out of my funk.  We started with Ratatoui, next was Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, followed by Kit Kitteridge. (cutest movie ever!)  I managed to knit all of the body and most of the head of my first project. Today we have some pretty big excitement.  It's the first day of our co-op.  One of the girls at church invited us to go, and we couldn't be more thrilled.  I have been hunting for something the kids can do outside of church and house that they could do at the same time, rather than running in all directions.  It should be fun.  I am looking forward to it. It's funny how having something on our schedule gets me all worked up.  We got up early this morning in orde...

I woke up sad today.  It's so funny because last week Monday was such a glorious day!!!  And today I am just kind of sad.  There's no real reason.  I have everything I need or want, I'm just... dissatisfied.  It's the story of my life.  Some days great, other days miserable.  I have always struggled with this very thing, always wishing something was different.  I don't wish for another life, I just wish this relationship was better or that situation would change.  It's so petty.  People are suffering terrible trials in their lives and it is painful to have to sit on the sidelines and just watch them suffer through it knowing there's very little I can do to make it better.  But I start picking things apart in my mind and they start to cave.  So petty.  I despise this about myself.  What I want to be is truly content- in plenty and in want.  Not just financially but when my heart is full and when I am left longing ...

There's nothing miraculous about one of our church services, if you think about it with an American mindset and consider the freedom to worship a given.  It's just that our meeting are really precious to me.  I don't mean to keep coming back to this, but I have prayed for such a long, long time for this very thing that I can't seem to get away from this gratuitous frame of mind.  All these other things that trip me up pale in comparison to being part of this precious fellowship.  It's the accountability, the teaching, and the functionality that I love. Last week at Bible study, I laid all my cards on the table, so to speak.  I have shared a lot of things in our circle of ladies, but I always strategically position myself behind what's left of the wall that keeps me safe from being completely vulnerable.  In my heart I believe that we'll be here forever and there's nothing to lose by sharing my real, true self, but in my knower I'm pretty sure there i...

After a week full of answered prayers the Lord blessed us with the gift of a cool, breezy morning.  Dale's mom was with us this morning and got to enjoy a beautiful start to a lovely day.  We all sat on the porch talked for a while, then we watched as a mother bird tutored her baby bird in the ways of the world.  The baby hopped back over the yard while she flew back and forth from ground to tree limb making short hops in between to teach the tiny thing how to do it.  It was the most precious sight!  We could have stayed all morning and watched them. In case you're curious I am seventeen weeks now and have been showing since I was about six hours along.  When my tummy is nice and round I will post some pictures.  Until then, it's too hard to get a photo that is flattering in any way.  I am enjoying a healthy mix of normal clothes and maternity clothes, which is nice because I don't feel totally confined to my narrow maternity w...

This is the lookout point over Truman Lake.  We watched a little movie about why the lake was built (while the real adventurers trekked out into the heat to visit the one room schoolhouse a mile away); it was quite fascinating!  I couldn't give you many details in recollection because that's not really my strong suit, but I will tell you that the flooding in this area caused millions of dollars worth of damage.  The lake is a blessing that keeps on giving to the community. Deisha and I spent many hours in the car while she napped.  It was more important to me that she rest and be tolerable later than for her to catch up with the fun that everyone else was having.  I didn't mind being that I'd rather sit and people watch anyway.  When she did wake up this day we went straight into the Dogpatch, a huge gift shop, on the strip downtown.  Little did I know when we walked in that we would stop just a few feet from the front door and there stay pla...

This is the third time we've gone to Lake of the Ozarks with the Richmond Suttons.  Every year we try to do all the things we did the years before to keep our traditions going, starting with Gravois Mills. You might be surprised to learn that the sign on the gate said the place was closed when you see these pictures.  It looks like a goldmine to me, but for whatever reason the place was run down and the ground keepers house was empty. We managed to find a way to enjoy ourselves regardless of the signs. Next stop, Haha Tonka State Park, I think.  There is a natural spring about half a mild down this path.  In 95 degree weather, it seems like a long walk.  It was, however, shaded and near the stream which is about 57 degrees, so it wasn't as bad as I anticipated. I guess it wasn't exactly the next stop.  It was one of the places we went.  Forget what I said about that.  I don't even know if that's where I took this picture, but it might have been....

I have to tell you, this is the first year, in all of my seven-ish years of homeschooling, that I have felt hopeful about the school year.  Don't get me wrong, I have been excited before, but that's not saying much. This year I have a different perspective, a new outlook.  I have a general sense of okayness.  With that said, we had a relatively predictable first day of chaos and disorder.  The difference was that this year there was no yelling, no one cried, and I don't feel like eating a whole carton of butter brickle ice cream to settle my nerves.  I feel good.  What changed, you may ask?  My fetters were loosed.  The expectation of educating five children at five grade levels blew my mind, and it fettered me, so I cut it off.  The idea that it was necessary to teach math, English, science, history, grammar, spelling, reading, and writing on a daily basis fettered me too, so I let that one go.  The fact that every fifteen sec...

We have been blessed to be welcomed into the church that we have been praying for, for years and years.  It seemed like a simple request, but the rarity of our fellowship is such that it took over a decade, and travelling back and forth across the country to find it.  I can't say that I am surprised, I honestly didn't think it would ever happen, but it was well worth the wait.  I don't think I could've possible appreciated it way back then when I was wishing for it, as much as I do now.  What I love about it is... for one thing it's small; eight families.  Worship is intimate, reverent, and the focus is never on a person or a performance, but it is always Jesus.  The Bible teaching is core, systematic, and sound doctrinally.  There is an opportunity for everyone to share every week, either prayer needs, or exciting answers to prayer, or things to sharpen one another.  The kids sit through every service, gleaning what they can from t...