bsmiles and sunny days

Thoughts from my Sunday school class... so much incredible wisdom happening in that classroom!!!  We were talking about Jochabed, Moses's mom. The woman is a hero. Seriously. She did the scariest, most incredible thing... she was blindly obedient.  Dude, it was loco what she did. They wanted her to toss her baby boy in the Nile River, but she didn't. They wanted baby Mose dead, but he lived. God pricked her heart when she looked at that beautiful face, and He placed a dream in her heart that he could live if she bucked the system. God asked her to do something scary. Out of obedience she hid her tiny baby until she could hide him no more. She risked her life and his life for the sake of obedience.  See what God did there? He used what she already had to accomplish His purpose. What she had was the unconditional, God-given love that only a mother can have for her son. She saw something special in her newborn baby that only a mama can see.  Then when sh...

There's a crazy amount of happiness happening around this girl's 40th birthday! You would think this birthday would have brought me a lot of anxiety. I've always had aspirations of being in the best shape of my life for my 40th, but it didn't happen. As a matter of fact, now that I've had my last baby and a round of meds for my wacky emotional journey, I'm heavier than I've been in years.  But God... In His mercy, showered me with the reality that I am surrounded by people that love me, that support me, that are cheering me on, and that couldn't care less how huge my hiney looked in those jeans. And let's be honest, I would have really liked to be wearing makeup for the pictures from my party, but it was incredibly freeing to not need it on this iconic day. People matter. Relationships matter. Beauty and character and oneness with Christ are the things that count. Appearance, while it seems to count in the moment, has little relevance when it's a...

Here's my dilemma. I have all of this living to do. Lots of work, lots of organizing, lots of cleaning, laundry, cooking, dishes, shopping... And all this loving to do; snuggling, hugging, loving, kisses, singing songs, laughing, sitting and being present. It's like I have two gears, BIG and slooooow. I'm either crazy-productive or like an old farm dog on a sunny day, only in a rocking chair on the porch. So when I'm busy, I feel good. I feel ecstatic to be accomplishing things. (it's been a while since I accomplished anything.) But when I'm present, stopped, aware, detached from the things of this life and focused on the things happening right in front of me, these moments happen. That's when I feel satisfied, really satisfied. The thing is, if I hadn't been busy yesterday building and hanging these swings, this moment couldn't have happened!! GOD HELP ME! I need to learn the balance of working some and resting some. It's an intense ...

My birthday is next week. My 40th birthday. As is the case most years, we will be traveling on that special day, so this guy took me out last night for an amazing, way too expensive Italian dinner and a movie.  A couple of things worth mentioning here... I may have had a hot flash. Um... what?!? Also we watched a movie called Money Monster, and I sat on the edge of my seat the entire time. Granted, I'm one of those. I get completely emotionally engaged in movies that draw me in, and then I apply every element to my own life that will fit. Usually it's some random inspirational thing that either inspires me to do something big or lose weight. (Which, at this point is also doing something big.)  This movie inspired me to do something. I kept thinking, we are a flash in the pan. Like seriously, a firework. A few moments of flashing and popping and then we burn out, like a vapor. Like the flowers of the field, here today, gone tomorrow. Which leaves us with this incredible questio...

There's so much going on, I'm reeling. I feel like our world just went from zero to chaos overnight. The president is making federal laws to force the hands of public schools in regards to the transgender issue. I  posted something on Facebook about this recently and someone commented, "Is this really because you don't want to go potty next to someone of a different gender or is this about something deeper?" Absolutely it is about something deeper. Originally this was about my children and their safety. I send littles and bigs to the bathroom in pairs all the time, trusting the power of numbers and the honor system to keep the bad guys away. That will never happen again. This issue has opened the door for not only transgenders, but also perverts to float freely in and out of the restroom of there choice, no questions asked.  But even beyond that, I am vehemently offended at the blatant disregard for natural order and God's perfect creative design.  Psalms stat...

This past weekend this happened. What's that you say? You didn't know 66 year olds still toured? Oh yes. They came all the way from Austrailia to belt out "All Out of Love" like bosses.  This was, hands down, the most entertaining show I've ever been to. It wasn't just the singers or the songs, but the eclectic audience put on quite a show on its own!  Here's our standard lovie selfie. I spent 19 hours laughing with this guy and let me tell you, it was magical. I wish we could sneak away every month to be alone for 19 hours. It's rare for us to have conversation that isn't happening over a layer of screaming, yelling, or happy kid noise. It makes it so much easier to concentrate on what you're saying!  I am sure you're wondering where I've been. My life has taken so many twists and turns, I'm still reeling. God prepared me for a storm and once it passed I sort of fell apart. You know how when something happens in your life that sort...

To be honest... Sometimes the screaming in this place wears me out. It comes out of nowhere. A blood-curdling scream that sends me reeling. And then the yelling...  Leila! What? Leila! WHAT?? Where's the computer charger? What? The computer charger! What?? THE CHARGER! I DON'T KNOW! I mean come on- they are 6 feet away from each other. My life is a menagerie of sights and sounds. Sometimes the sounds are enough to put me over the edge. Not today, though. Happy Wednesday. I mean Thursday.  😂 Lvb