Stop This Train
John Mayer wrote this song that goes...
Stop this train
I wanna get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's movin in...
I'm sure he wrote it at that crossroad, the first time you realize how fast life is going and you think, "Man, I wish I could just go home." This song always blasts me back to mornings when I was in grade school and I'd wake up before the sun. My mom would already be fully dressed making breakfast and slinging sandwiches into sandwich bags. I loved that time in my life, it was so predictable.
Needless to say the train is picking up speed. We were talking about Dale's friend at work being 45 years old and expecting his second child soon. I said, "You know, I can see us being in our thirties, it wasn't difficult for me. But I cannot imagine us being forty-five. *which makes Kennedy 20*" I know, it's a long way off, but it's coming. When do you get to an age that feels right? Maybe you grow each age as it comes.
What is shocking to me is how days can pass that I replay in my mind and cannot remember accomplishing a single thing. Then other days, I can do a weeks worth of work in a matter of hours. Weird. I've been evaluating what I really want to do and be in my daily life and it never changes. The things I want to do, I don't do and the things I don't want to do I keep doing. The list has been the same since I was 19. They're so simple, your list is probably the same as mine. But I never quit trying. Kathy H used to call me every Monday and say, "What's your new game plan?" Because every Monday I had some new gig that was going to revolutionize my life. a schedule, a diet, a new book. It's not that I don't still do that, I just don't tell everyone anymore so that when Friday comes and I've ditched it, I haven't failed anyone but myself.
While writing tidbits and snippets of my life here is something I really enjoy doing, it's just not a high priority like I had hoped it would be, so forgive me if I'm a here today gone tomorrow, I'll be back again. If I can't be what I want to be to myself, I want to at least be something to my family. Right now we have all this time together so when Dale's home, everything in my routine goes to the *sit on it* file. And it seems like he's around a lot.
The Fourth of July came and went, and somehow we survived being away from home on a major holiday; we didn't buy a single popper or sparkler and we still had a really fun day. But God does not let our goal of coming home get far from my mind. I'm loving life out here while it's mine and I'll have no regrets when it's over.
Stop this train
I wanna get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's movin in...
I'm sure he wrote it at that crossroad, the first time you realize how fast life is going and you think, "Man, I wish I could just go home." This song always blasts me back to mornings when I was in grade school and I'd wake up before the sun. My mom would already be fully dressed making breakfast and slinging sandwiches into sandwich bags. I loved that time in my life, it was so predictable.
Needless to say the train is picking up speed. We were talking about Dale's friend at work being 45 years old and expecting his second child soon. I said, "You know, I can see us being in our thirties, it wasn't difficult for me. But I cannot imagine us being forty-five. *which makes Kennedy 20*" I know, it's a long way off, but it's coming. When do you get to an age that feels right? Maybe you grow each age as it comes.
What is shocking to me is how days can pass that I replay in my mind and cannot remember accomplishing a single thing. Then other days, I can do a weeks worth of work in a matter of hours. Weird. I've been evaluating what I really want to do and be in my daily life and it never changes. The things I want to do, I don't do and the things I don't want to do I keep doing. The list has been the same since I was 19. They're so simple, your list is probably the same as mine. But I never quit trying. Kathy H used to call me every Monday and say, "What's your new game plan?" Because every Monday I had some new gig that was going to revolutionize my life. a schedule, a diet, a new book. It's not that I don't still do that, I just don't tell everyone anymore so that when Friday comes and I've ditched it, I haven't failed anyone but myself.
While writing tidbits and snippets of my life here is something I really enjoy doing, it's just not a high priority like I had hoped it would be, so forgive me if I'm a here today gone tomorrow, I'll be back again. If I can't be what I want to be to myself, I want to at least be something to my family. Right now we have all this time together so when Dale's home, everything in my routine goes to the *sit on it* file. And it seems like he's around a lot.
The Fourth of July came and went, and somehow we survived being away from home on a major holiday; we didn't buy a single popper or sparkler and we still had a really fun day. But God does not let our goal of coming home get far from my mind. I'm loving life out here while it's mine and I'll have no regrets when it's over.
Friend, you write when you have time and I will hang on every word. Be with your family and I love to hear about your revolutionary ideas even if they do come every other day. They challenge me and make me think. Eat, drink and be happy. love you!
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