Perspectives and grace

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This is my view for the next hour while we wait for our shuttle to the airport.

Yesterday Dale asked me the name of a speaker we had heard earlier in the week. I've heard and seen gobs of names this week, and yet I was able to recall the name of one speaker. If you know me, or if you are a busy mom, you get why this is such a big deal.

For 5 days I've had concentrated, uninterrupted conversation with my husband. I've had intellectual thought. I've had long stretches of quiet everyday. Please love me anyway, I've got a point here.

My mind IS capable when its faculties are not clogged with sound. (I wasn't sure...) At any given time I may be entertaining 3 conversations at the same time with crying or screaming or both in the background. Now add piano, or guitar, or noise toys, or music. You see what I'm saying. On top of this, add busyness: I need to be somewhere, I have a deadline, I need to start working on dinner, I have to do laundry before morning... You can see why I have trouble focusing in my life.

The redeeming lightbulb lit up while I was lucid in the quiet part of the the morning, today. While I am fully capable of thinking intellectually, it is acceptable to relinquish that luxury in exchange for service to my family. It's not that I fully sacrifice my ability to think clearly, but it is certainly stunted and interrupted. And THAT is allowed. 

I will give myself grace. I will stop demanding impossible expectations of myself when I am fully engaged in my super-sized life. I'd like to extend permission to you to do the same thing. Slow down, embrace what you are capable of, and let go of what you aren't.

Lvb

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