be the change you want to see in the world...

This morning I woke up to a stunning spread of morning delight, rising over the city. Cars were beginning to fill the streets. Frustration was almost tangible as they lined up in droves down the on-ramps of the busy interstate. I couldn’t help but be distracted by their tiny images, like toys on a track, 26 floors down, until I lifted my eyes to the sunrise. Blue, pink, and orange swatches of light were layered harmoniously, high above the buildings that towered over me. It stretched east to west, dominating my view, making the busyness of the traffic seem small and insignificant. It was remarkable how calm and ordered the cosmos felt hovering listlessly as the morning rose.

I have a little confession. Eight weeks ago, the bottom fell out on my marriage. You, my faithful readers, fellow lovers of words, story-holders in kind, you knew something was awry, but you couldn’t string the riddles together because the details were sketchy and vague. I can say with confidence that God has redeemed our marriage for His name's sake. While are healing from the wreckage of a sneak attack, God is rebuilding. What the enemy of our souls meant for evil, God in His mercy, meant for good. He’s replacing rotted wood with steel beams. I am in awe.

So let's rewind. Many moons ago, Dale got really excited about the Evangelical Theological Society conference in Atlanta. His doctoral studies were focused on "marriage imagery in the New Testament". Ironically, in all the history of this prestigious society, never has there been a Marriage and Family Conference, until this year. He promptly registered us, booked a flight, and reserved a hotel room. Who knew that all these months later, we’d be in the boat we’re in. I certainly couldn’t have predicted it. But, God knew. He must have nodded, knowingly, as Dale typed each of our names and planned the getaway for us only, sans children. He set the path for us to be here, relishing the gift of marriage in worship and study together with masses of people. That's where we are right now. 

Hello, Atlanta, you're quite delightful!

Our first session has my head spinning. 40 minutes has got me rethinking everything… I want to jump into counseling, social work, study of theology, all of it, right now! …in typical Becca impulsive fashion. But, as I geared up for the next session, I felt at peace with taking the morsels I was given and escaping the meetings to steal away to this quiet place.

Marriages are crumbling, one tiny piece at a time, courtesy of the accessibility of pornography, social media relationship, and infidelity of all kinds. Men and women are buried in shame and masquerading as happily married, healthy, problem-less couples. I know the feeling. I’ve suffered this shame on all levels as both a recipient of broken trust and as broken woman caught in the seduction of lust. I know the shame, I know the lure, but I also know what it is to have forgiveness and freedom in Christ.

So in all this, what do we do? What can we do to effect change in our broken, messed up, upside-down world? 

Here is my conclusion: Get healthy. Tell your secrets. Tell your spouse your secret sins. Get counseling. Have hard conversations. Turn the lights on. The more you hide your shame, the more you feel it, so get it OUT! LIVE!!! Jesus Christ offers you abundant life. Living water. The bread of Life. Freedom in Him. There is nothing broken that He can’t fix. You are living paralyzed by the enemy of your soul, telling you the lie that if you turn the lights on, if you tell ANYONE about this secret, you will be rejected and wreck your life. But guess what! Sin is wrecking your life! So, rip it out by the roots and begin to breathe again.

This is what you can do to make a difference! Live what you say you love. Be who you were created and designed to be. Let the powerful voice of a marriage rooted and grounded in forgiveness and life in Christ speak volumes to the world!!

That’s what I’m doing. 

lvb