words
Words are my thing.
Obviously, writing is my medium. It enables me to access parts of myself that nothing else is capable of accessing. I need to talk. I need to write. I need to read. Words give me flight. They give me hope. They reveal me, the good the bad and the ugly. They comfort me, give me strength.
I have felt uncovered in my writing these past few weeks. When I don't feel, I write, and I can feel. When I feel buried, I write and it gives me peace.
I've always struggled with saying things. I can talk, I talk a lot. I've always had a lot to say. But when it comes to hard conversations, pass. No thank you. I start talking and I either cry or stutter, I get kabaubled, and I can't say what needs to be said. Not only that, but I have no clarity. The thoughts all get mashed up together and leave me confused and bewildered, even though I'm mad or sad or frustrated or discouraged. As soon as I sense danger, I flight. (You know what I mean~) At least my mind does, it runs like the devil and leaves me stranded with no words.
I'm learning to say it. The problem is that after all this time, I say it and it comes out in a fury. Even if I'm not mad, it comes out intense and hostile and forceful. Pray for me, sweet friends, this is a tricky balance that holds me hostage. It's easier to just say nothing, but that is ineffective and counterproductive.
Words reveal who we really are. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
God, my heart is deceptive and full of ugliness. Strip it. Rework it. Burn out the dross. Test me and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Obviously, writing is my medium. It enables me to access parts of myself that nothing else is capable of accessing. I need to talk. I need to write. I need to read. Words give me flight. They give me hope. They reveal me, the good the bad and the ugly. They comfort me, give me strength.
I have felt uncovered in my writing these past few weeks. When I don't feel, I write, and I can feel. When I feel buried, I write and it gives me peace.
I've always struggled with saying things. I can talk, I talk a lot. I've always had a lot to say. But when it comes to hard conversations, pass. No thank you. I start talking and I either cry or stutter, I get kabaubled, and I can't say what needs to be said. Not only that, but I have no clarity. The thoughts all get mashed up together and leave me confused and bewildered, even though I'm mad or sad or frustrated or discouraged. As soon as I sense danger, I flight. (You know what I mean~) At least my mind does, it runs like the devil and leaves me stranded with no words.
I'm learning to say it. The problem is that after all this time, I say it and it comes out in a fury. Even if I'm not mad, it comes out intense and hostile and forceful. Pray for me, sweet friends, this is a tricky balance that holds me hostage. It's easier to just say nothing, but that is ineffective and counterproductive.
Words reveal who we really are. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
God, my heart is deceptive and full of ugliness. Strip it. Rework it. Burn out the dross. Test me and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
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