He's his father's son

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Take a picture of this!" *enter into conversation: Tre.* He held this pose while my half dead batteries puttered to reload the next frame. Is he not a perfect reflection of his daddy? And then there are times when he reflects more than his wild side. This child has forced us to consider EVERY POSSIBLE FACET of discipline. He has, since he was 18 months old, pushed the limits minute by minute. And yet he is so sweet; it's been his saving grace his whole life. Lucky for me I too have had the gift of grace extended to me. I don't have any goodness in me, not a single ounce. The farther I reach for my Father's character, the farther I drift from being even momentarily within reach. This job as a CNA, the thorn in my flesh, has taught me nothing except that there is no good in me, nothing good. I work really hard to be kind, to be nice, to say the right thing, to be patient, to handle conflict amidst the beatings and curses and crying and frustration; inevitably I fail... and not simply but miserably. There is nothing good in me. But God... God in His infinite wisdom chose me to partake in His grace. And so I keep coming back, it may be square one every day for three years, but I just keep starting over. I am appalled at how dramatic my responses can be with these sick little old ladies when I know they are out of there minds, and still in the middle of the conflict I beg and claw at salvaging a scrap of my pride, that filthy ridiculous pride that swallows everything that I strive to be as a Christian. Would He only have the mercy to keep me there until I am empty...? I pray not. I have pleaded with Him to remove this thorn, and yet I remain indefinitely. Oh we'll move, but just not yet... and so I wait. It brings me back to this place where I realize that in light of goodness, I am so far away.
But this little face forces me onward in the journey up the ragged rock of Christianity. For his sake I will climb and be slapped and cursed and cut and abused. Because God is the prize and if he sees me climbing he wants to climb right beside me. And sometime in the journey he will truly taste the goodness and be compelled to give his soul to Christ. Life, this abundant life is the joy, it's the refreshment for the journey, but Christ and all of His fullness is the prize. And so I will climb onward and upward.

Comments

  1. sAugust 23, 2006 at 12:37 PM

    "if he sees me climbing then he wants to climb with me" --at this point this is what makes me want to chase and climb--but why do i find it so difficult?? I can't get one foot in front of the other. --take this thought with a grain of salt because i know what you are really thinking--but you like me right?

    ReplyDelete
  2. scooderloverAugust 24, 2006 at 3:01 PM

    Hi mom its si tre looks really
    funny on that picture.
    ok i have to leave dad a comment
    BYE.

    ReplyDelete

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