Clarity

If only I had time to write everyday... I find myself full of thoughts that I would love expound on here, but my minutes at home are so divided, and not carefully enough sometimes, I'm afraid, which leaves little time for me to sit in this chair and hash out the things that confound me.

I am amazed in this life at how some things become so precious and others fall effortlessly by the way side. It moves me to think that when we draw near to the Father, He changes us, and not the way we'd like to change, overnight in drastic measure, but as seamlessly as the tide rolling in and out, as gently as the wind sweeping the leaves from the trees; and one day you realize that you aren't the same, you aren't the person you once were, and you breathe a sigh of relief.

The shift in values has given me clarity in the things that matter. There was a time when it was really important to me to be known, to have friends, to have a pretty figure, to have long hair... It used to matter to me that I had insecurities, that my feet were too big, there was unmet desperation in my heart to be accepted and discovered. I was lost... but I've been found.

Dale bought this amazing book called "Timelines of World History". I've been reading it in short segments every chance I get. I was never a student at heart, only by performance, so you can imagine my horror when I looked at a map of the world recently and couldn't place Israel. It's embarrassing to me that I have had to ask Dale what Gnosticism is at least six times. I hate it that when he refers to the first century, I don't know, not even a clue. So having a history book dating back to dinosaurs and covering events from all over the world in my hands is like treasure. It's like a key to the universe. And not because now I know where Israel is, but because now I can open the pages and find Jesus on a timeline, and Moses, and Adam. I can look at a map, a fact of reality, and find where my savior was born and lived and died. I can see where John was exiled. I can see where the Israelites wandered after the exodus. I can find my Father's words in my world. It is THRILLING!

What's more, I have attained some of the things that used to matter to me and I don't care. I've laughed when people have said they have big feet and mine are bigger than theirs because it's irrelevant. That's how I feel about most of those things. I used to live in anticipation of the next person that would notice the quarter of a pound that I had lost, now having broken all the records, I just don't care. I'm just the same old girl I was when I couldn't fasten my tight jeans and I had fuzzy dorky hair. It's still me. But I have found the secret to life; it's like breathing. It's like looking into the Grand Canyon and considering a trek down into it and back up the other side- breath taking. I've found it and it's in the pursuit of Christ, the pursuit of knowledge, the embrace of wisdom; it's in living the Great Commission and running. In every plausible metaphoric and literal sense, it's in running; in training like an athlete inside and out. It's where I've found clarity.

Seek Him, drink deeply of Him as you find Him in the Word! Don't let another day go by without embracing the Scriptures He gave that we might know Him, and come back the next day and the next day and the next day until you can't wait to get back to Him there!!!