a day in the life

The other night my girls and I went to
Still Alice,
a movie about a woman with
early onset Alzheimers.

I've been
leaving my trail ever since.

"this is our password"
"here's my blog address"
"in case of alzheimers..."

I'm writing.
I'm making videos.
I'm engaging.
I'm engaging my children.
When they talk to me, I drop what I'm doing
I put down my phone, out of reach.
I laugh out loud as often as possible.

I spent the first half of my parenting career
teaching my littles about social graces.
I didn't laugh if it wasn't funny.
I've decided
it's more important for them
to feel accepted,
to be brave enough to sing or be funny,
than to learn grown-up social graces.

You know those things that moms say?
I hear myself saying them.
I used to avoid saying those soccer mom phrases
but I started saying them because
I care so much that it doesn't matter if its a cliché.
All that matters is the precious moment I'm in 
with this one
or that one.

You wanna know how I do all this?
I do things one at a time if at all possible.
I stop three conversations so that I can hear one.
I try not to multi-task.
I am trying to not hurry.
I am learning how to not yell,
until I do, and then I definitely apologize.

The hard part is deciding what isn't going to get done.
My kitchen isn't clean
    its picked up, dishes done, but not clean.
The laundry is still sitting in the washer
    there's a basket of clean wrinkled clothes sitting abandoned.
Baths are a rare treat, almost as rare of showers.
Meals are planned carefully
    except when they're not.
    and then convenience food is a blessing.

What matters?
What matters for eternity?
This phrase is dancing around in my head...
This is my ministry.
As I pick up the 4th pair of socks this hour
As I collect the trash from the floor
As I drag myself out of bed another time in the wee hours.
This is my ministry.

AND IT MATTERS.

It matters to me
It matters to my family
It matters to God.

I'm so happy that
this is my ministry.
:)

lvb