bsmiles and sunny days

I'm not sure what happened this year.  Last year we kicked off our celebrations as usual on the first of November and on December 26th when I took all the decorations down, I was ready.  This  year I am already sad that we're so close to the end.  BUT, rather than mourn the loss of something not yet lost, I am choosing to rejoice in each moment until the end comes. Merry Christmas Eve to one and all!  It's SNOWING!!!!!  We woke up to a beautiful blanket of white, which is yet another answer to some diligent and persistent prayers of the Sutton children. He loves us so beautifully.  I have a list of things I need to get done today, including fininshing three presents and making some stocking stuffers.  Also I'll be doing some more Christmas baking as well as making cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning brunch.  The big kids are sledding, the little ones are watching the Christmas movie marathon that is happening right now.  Life is go...

After a series of unfortunate events in my life, I find myself sort of clinging to what matters.  My sweet Gram passed most unexpectedly which sent me into alarm.  Painful as it was, the Lord has used this circumstance to corner me and my restless heart.  Most recently Dale and I became suddenly struck with the worst stomach flu of our existence to date.  I came very close to dehydration and nearly threw myself into pre-term labor for want of necessary instruction.  Thanks to a simple remedy, some tlc, and the blessing of a dear friend, we avoided a trip to the hospital.  After two days of complete bedrest and another day of bursts of energy followed by debilitating exhaustion, I think we're better.  Because of these trials my heart is atune to the goodness of God and His mercy toward me.  He has never failed me nor ceased to show me his loving kindness.  I miss writing.  I was going through the precious items I was p...

God has answered our prayers! After much investigation and a small fortune in odor fighters, we have found the cause of the stink in our house and resolved it completely! Hallelujah! Turns out it was sewer gas and all of you that told me to pour water down the drain were right! We didn't know that there was a second floor drain in our basement that had gone totally neglected all this time, only to blast sewer gasses through the house in greater and greater portions for the past month. Thankfully we didn't have a massive explosion or any psychotic behavior- any more than usual anyway.  Speaking of being thankful, I can never fully express my gratitude for the answer to our prayers to come home. This time last year we were anticipating a moving date and truly had an end in sight to our- adveture- in California. Weeks before as the season of joy approached, we were fighting a constant undercurrent of sadness on account of being so far away. I don't know why God loves us the wa...

If I were still using Facebook, I would list my productivity on my status as follows: This morning before nine o'clock I: cleaned our room, walked two miles, cleaned out the pantry, watered  the yard, and did all the laundry.  I am glad that I don't get on Facebook anymore because I always thought it was so annoying that people wrote their completed to-do lists as  their status.  But this morning I thought of them fondly and could relate to their intentions in doing so.  Here's something really cool that happened this morning to boot.  Leila opened the cabinet and stood in mouth-open-awe at the lovely display of cans and boxes neatly organized in grocery store fashion.  Instant gratification.  Someone recognized and appreciated my work.  What I don't want to tell you is that I... didn't make Dale anything to take in his lunch this morning.  The only thing he had for to eat for breakfast was...

At least I get the camera out for birthdays...  It's birthday season here!  WOOHOO!  YAY YAY YAY LEILA!!! We have minimized our birthday obsessions for the kiddos this year, so I only had two presents for Leila to open.  One was this knitted bear.  I made it a hat and scarf too, but since the day she opened the package it's been MIA.  That's the breaks around here. Dale's mom and dad, Aunt Angie and his cousin Lisa all came to celebrate with us.  It was a beautiful night so after we ate we all sat around in lawn chairs in the front yard.  That's my favorite. We also had a huge princess party at my mom's but I can't seem to find any photos from that day.  ugh.  I feel so scattered lately.  So anywayss, Happy Birthday, Lol!! 

So Tre turned 8 a few months ago... in August and here is a teeny memoir of this joyous celebration.  This party took place with our church family at our house.  See what I meant earlier?  I made the cake and he decorated it with M&Ms.  Sometimes I'm a total slacker. Clearly here is another cake from our party with Dana and family.  I don't know why I don't have more pictures.  Poor Trebo.  His memory will have to do the job. We also had a party with my a bunch of my family that came for the weekend to celebrate Tre and Gavin, my nephew.  Somehow I didn't get a single photograph of the party.  My brother, T.R. has some px on Facebook if you are curious.  My mom made the cutest army cake with rock candy and a battle scene.  She also brought camo handkerchiefs (chieves?) for everyone which was super fun!  But did I snap a single picture?  Nope.  It's pregnancy... I lose all my marbles in the process of gro...

You thought I was kidding?  I kept trying to capture the sweetness of the birthday girl,and this is what kept taking over!    Last May, Grams came to Emporia to celebrate her birthday with the crew.  It was quite a party!  The is my Uncle Bubba next to her.  It's strange to watch him age.  He has crazy Hook eyebrows and a bald head, but he's still just as charming as ever.  I have always adored him. Jon and Cara blew us away when they showed up just about the right time for the party.  No one knew they were coming FROM NEW MEXICO!  I love surprises, and they are rare for me because no one in my house can keep a secret.  But this time we are all in shock.  I know it freaked Cara out that I kept hugging her over and over, but it was like a dream!  When we were in California she was a lifeline for me.  We spent lots of time on the phone feeling stranded and far away from the rest of the world, but somehow together....

Maybe I forgot to mention Deisha's birthday... did I?  I just loaded all the photos from my camera and did a quick run through this years blog posts.  For some reason I failed to mention her birthday and a few others... so here we go. My apologies if this is a repeat. Today, Deisha. This cake was super fun to make and sooooo simple.  The terets and columns are made from ice cream cones, melted almond bark, and cherry chips.  The bricks are marshmellows.  The rest is pretty obvious.  I found a picture online that morning and voila!  We had a castle!  I feel bad when I am the lazy mom that makes a box cake and lets the kids decorate it with M & Ms.  Sometimes that's just what they want, though, so I don't feel bad for long.  Dale's grandparents hadn't had a chance to come visit our new house until this weekend so we were thrilled to have them join our party.  This is Grandpa Welker.  Also you can see Nana and Cousin...

It may not officially be fall, but oh my stars... I am in love!  This weather makes everything better; it's like the cherry on top of every blessing in my life.  The mornings are so crisp and fresh, I just can't get enough of it.  If there are anymore pregnancies in my future, I must pray that they encompass the fall. It curbs the edge brought on by my wacky hormones. We are spending this weekend in town with our Nana and Papa and Aunt Sarah.  Nana and the boys are making plastic canvas boxes, the girls are watching Sleeping Beauty and napping after a late night of movies and giggling, and Papa is putting the floor down in the basement.  It's John Wayne Saturday on AMC; our lives our full.  Dale is headed out for a weekend with Marty who is in town for a speaking engagement, so he didn't get to join our fall festivities in Emporia.  I'm not too worried about him though.  I'm sure he'll manage juuuuust fine. So anywaysss.... I hope you are all...

I've just finished one of the most motivating books I've read in a long time.  Have you heard of this? I can honestly say this was a wake up call for me.  A lot of my life I have worked hard to please God; constantly trying: trying to read my Bible more, trying to pray more fervently and consistently, trying to force my character to behave like His.  In these pages I found that what God wants is not the trying, He just wants me- all of me.  It seemed a bit of a conundrum at first because how can I give Him more of me without trying?  But what it comes down to is this.  If I pursue Him out of a heart of love instead of some sense of moral duty, I am giving Him all of me, moment by moment.  That in itself reciprocates a deeper love and longing for Him which returns a produce of the fruit that I have begged Him to grow in me for so long. In this book there are stories of people that are obsessed with loving God and ...

I think about this blog a lot during the day.  If I could be down here writing all the time, and it's probably a good thing I can't, I would.  Let me first apologize for not including more pictures.  I really don't like it when people post web cam photos of themselves in every post just to fancy it up.  It seems silly.  You know what I look like; it only changes when I am pregnant or have a major event coming up that I want to be skinnier for.  What you are really hoping to find is a photograph of my kids or our house or something creative- like a bug or a project.  You don't want to see me with my frumpy "stay in the house all day" hair and my smeared mascara from last night because I don't shower until we are about ready to walk out the door or Dale is about to walk it...  It's just the way it is.  I know you, the few, the faithful, will return and read- if not skim- this post; dazzling photos or not!  It's because you love m...

I have to tell you, the co-op was not what I expected.  We were happily surprised to see lots of children in each of the kids' age groups- which shouldn't have been a surprise being that I had a kid in almost every class.  They all had lots of fun and I was in the nursery for most of the day.  Listen. I'm not a nursery gal.  I did it and it was fine, but I did not love it.  I was, however, grateful for the taco soup at the end of the tunnel!  It's silly, but knowing that I had dinner in the crockpot made it so much easier not to stop at a drive-through on the way home.  The kids were practically begging.  One mention of taco soup shut it down.  Seriously!  There is no doubt that if I had not made dinner it would have been double cheeseburgers all the way. Poor Dale did not get his QT hot dog, not from me anyway.  By the time he and Leila made it home from their special day, I was already in jammies and snuggled down f...

The Movie Marathon was just what we needed.  I took the kids to the library to get their movies, and then we went to Price Chopper to pick up everything we needed for Root Beer floats and Scamboli Bread.  It was a real treat for the kids; snapped me right out of my funk.  We started with Ratatoui, next was Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, followed by Kit Kitteridge. (cutest movie ever!)  I managed to knit all of the body and most of the head of my first project. Today we have some pretty big excitement.  It's the first day of our co-op.  One of the girls at church invited us to go, and we couldn't be more thrilled.  I have been hunting for something the kids can do outside of church and house that they could do at the same time, rather than running in all directions.  It should be fun.  I am looking forward to it. It's funny how having something on our schedule gets me all worked up.  We got up early this morning in orde...

I woke up sad today.  It's so funny because last week Monday was such a glorious day!!!  And today I am just kind of sad.  There's no real reason.  I have everything I need or want, I'm just... dissatisfied.  It's the story of my life.  Some days great, other days miserable.  I have always struggled with this very thing, always wishing something was different.  I don't wish for another life, I just wish this relationship was better or that situation would change.  It's so petty.  People are suffering terrible trials in their lives and it is painful to have to sit on the sidelines and just watch them suffer through it knowing there's very little I can do to make it better.  But I start picking things apart in my mind and they start to cave.  So petty.  I despise this about myself.  What I want to be is truly content- in plenty and in want.  Not just financially but when my heart is full and when I am left longing ...

There's nothing miraculous about one of our church services, if you think about it with an American mindset and consider the freedom to worship a given.  It's just that our meeting are really precious to me.  I don't mean to keep coming back to this, but I have prayed for such a long, long time for this very thing that I can't seem to get away from this gratuitous frame of mind.  All these other things that trip me up pale in comparison to being part of this precious fellowship.  It's the accountability, the teaching, and the functionality that I love. Last week at Bible study, I laid all my cards on the table, so to speak.  I have shared a lot of things in our circle of ladies, but I always strategically position myself behind what's left of the wall that keeps me safe from being completely vulnerable.  In my heart I believe that we'll be here forever and there's nothing to lose by sharing my real, true self, but in my knower I'm pretty sure there i...

After a week full of answered prayers the Lord blessed us with the gift of a cool, breezy morning.  Dale's mom was with us this morning and got to enjoy a beautiful start to a lovely day.  We all sat on the porch talked for a while, then we watched as a mother bird tutored her baby bird in the ways of the world.  The baby hopped back over the yard while she flew back and forth from ground to tree limb making short hops in between to teach the tiny thing how to do it.  It was the most precious sight!  We could have stayed all morning and watched them. In case you're curious I am seventeen weeks now and have been showing since I was about six hours along.  When my tummy is nice and round I will post some pictures.  Until then, it's too hard to get a photo that is flattering in any way.  I am enjoying a healthy mix of normal clothes and maternity clothes, which is nice because I don't feel totally confined to my narrow maternity w...

This is the lookout point over Truman Lake.  We watched a little movie about why the lake was built (while the real adventurers trekked out into the heat to visit the one room schoolhouse a mile away); it was quite fascinating!  I couldn't give you many details in recollection because that's not really my strong suit, but I will tell you that the flooding in this area caused millions of dollars worth of damage.  The lake is a blessing that keeps on giving to the community. Deisha and I spent many hours in the car while she napped.  It was more important to me that she rest and be tolerable later than for her to catch up with the fun that everyone else was having.  I didn't mind being that I'd rather sit and people watch anyway.  When she did wake up this day we went straight into the Dogpatch, a huge gift shop, on the strip downtown.  Little did I know when we walked in that we would stop just a few feet from the front door and there stay pla...

This is the third time we've gone to Lake of the Ozarks with the Richmond Suttons.  Every year we try to do all the things we did the years before to keep our traditions going, starting with Gravois Mills. You might be surprised to learn that the sign on the gate said the place was closed when you see these pictures.  It looks like a goldmine to me, but for whatever reason the place was run down and the ground keepers house was empty. We managed to find a way to enjoy ourselves regardless of the signs. Next stop, Haha Tonka State Park, I think.  There is a natural spring about half a mild down this path.  In 95 degree weather, it seems like a long walk.  It was, however, shaded and near the stream which is about 57 degrees, so it wasn't as bad as I anticipated. I guess it wasn't exactly the next stop.  It was one of the places we went.  Forget what I said about that.  I don't even know if that's where I took this picture, but it might have been....

I have to tell you, this is the first year, in all of my seven-ish years of homeschooling, that I have felt hopeful about the school year.  Don't get me wrong, I have been excited before, but that's not saying much. This year I have a different perspective, a new outlook.  I have a general sense of okayness.  With that said, we had a relatively predictable first day of chaos and disorder.  The difference was that this year there was no yelling, no one cried, and I don't feel like eating a whole carton of butter brickle ice cream to settle my nerves.  I feel good.  What changed, you may ask?  My fetters were loosed.  The expectation of educating five children at five grade levels blew my mind, and it fettered me, so I cut it off.  The idea that it was necessary to teach math, English, science, history, grammar, spelling, reading, and writing on a daily basis fettered me too, so I let that one go.  The fact that every fifteen sec...

We have been blessed to be welcomed into the church that we have been praying for, for years and years.  It seemed like a simple request, but the rarity of our fellowship is such that it took over a decade, and travelling back and forth across the country to find it.  I can't say that I am surprised, I honestly didn't think it would ever happen, but it was well worth the wait.  I don't think I could've possible appreciated it way back then when I was wishing for it, as much as I do now.  What I love about it is... for one thing it's small; eight families.  Worship is intimate, reverent, and the focus is never on a person or a performance, but it is always Jesus.  The Bible teaching is core, systematic, and sound doctrinally.  There is an opportunity for everyone to share every week, either prayer needs, or exciting answers to prayer, or things to sharpen one another.  The kids sit through every service, gleaning what they can from t...

Let me start by saying WE'RE PREGNANT!  Haha!!!  Another Sutton will be making its way into the world in nine-ish months.  Were we surprised?  Relatively.  I guess as much as you were, maybe a little less.  Did we plan to have another baby?  Moreso than any other child, surprisingly.  Are we going to keep having babies until we're unable to have anymore?  It's difficult to say.  My life is not my own. We've talked about letting go of the controls in this area of our lives and frankly, its what we should have done from the beginning.  This is a walk of faith.  If we really believe that children are a blessing, a gift, a reward... well that's all I'm saying.  How real is this faith?  There are a million practical reasons not to have more children.  I thought of them all before anyone brought them to my attention.  But I believe the Bible is the standard, the manual, the actual Word of God.  It is the very...

When we first moved in, I was on a roll.  I was getting up early to pray and read the Word, the house was clean, the laundry was caught up, I had it all together, except for the cooking part.  That is still a work in progress.  But lately, ugh.  I'm tired.  I'm lazy.  I'm in a slump.  I just want to sit around.  It's really a blessing that we don't have cable because this is the time when I would willingly subject myself to hours of the cooking channel with reckless abandon.  Fortunately for my family, we don't have cable.  Instead I find myself staring at the wall.  I am starting to lose ground with the house, but I am at least trying to plan my meals ahead a day at a time.  Tonight, fortunately, we have the church pot luck and I can get by with a broccoli salad, a pan of baked beans, and a loaf of bread.  Someone will inevidibly bring hot dogs for the kids and there will be a nice colorful salad, if nothing else, for the...

Oh, yeah!!!  Suprise, surprise!!!  I AM BACK!  Today I want to write about blogs.  There are so many of them.  I mean, anything I want to learn about from real people, there are literally enough blogs about that thing that I can catalogue a whole list of them- just ones I really love!  Seriously- in my favorites I have homeschooling, cooking, couponing, design inspiration, current events.... it could go on and on.  Depending on my mood, I can open the folder and learn all kinds of things about those very things. Here's the thing about bloggers.  They have some sort of mastery.  They are good at one of those things on the list.  Get it?  I read them and want to master these things, but there's no way to master the whole list, so I read it and get inspired, and then I read some more and I start to feel inadequate.  I always wondered what my life would be like if I didn't probe into other people's lives and try to compare myself a...

Where to begin, where to begin...  I am hesitant to even begin writing knowing it could be months before I am back to regularity, but I miss you all so much.  My heart is sick over not being able to contact you via email.  There's just so much to do yet, and the days are flying by with little time for reflection! I'll tell you what I can see from this perspective.  We've set up the computer in the family room in the basement.  I love it because I am not tempted to sit down here every time I walk by- the fact is that I don't just walk by.  I have to be intentional about getting here, which makes for much less frivolity of my time.  The TV is also down here, and that without cable which means when we want to watch something, it takes effort.  I love it. The spring has sprung here in lovely Missouri.  From the French doors I can see out into the backyard and into the woods behind.  There are green leaves coming up all over the ground, ...

I'm finding my heart full often. The little blessings continue to fall into our lives, and we continue to give praise to God for every little thing.      Last night we were driving home from Target and Dale turned down a sidestreet, spontaneously.  My heart leapt when I realized we were dropping in for a visit at my brother's house. They welcomed us into their home at nearly eight o'clock and cheered our surprise visit enthusiastically.  It's a gift every time.    The realtor sent me a message yesterday to let me know that the dishwasher blew out last week in our new house, but because it was under warranty, they were able to replace it and POOF!  Just like that, we have a brand new dishwasher just waiting to be loaded with our dishes!  These little blessings, they blow me away.     Homeschooling is going well for the first time in a very long time.  I have the time and attention to give to each of the kids, bein...

Oh hi there, are you still here?  HAHA!  I think of you often, and honestly, I miss you often.  It's just that, well, I got a little busy when we moved across the country.  I'm living in a hotel, see, and I have six kids.  Here in the Bible belt, it snows whenever it wants and so I'm stranded while the four-wheel-drive is incorporated into the commute.  My mornings start early and I am busy keeping all of the children busy with a schedule that won't quit.  If I don't fill their time, I risk being thrown into the street from the fighting and bouncing off the walls.  It's just the way it is.  But I'll return.  I feel feverish to write lately.  It's what I love, it's what I do.  I need to be here everyday.  So thanks for never giving up.  You make me always want to come back and start again. lvb

So I told the kids that we would have a little party this week before they go back to school.  I don't know why I offer these suggestions up.  It's really laziness, initially.  I make these promises to give them something to look forward to and then I don't want to do it.  I don't want to do it at all.  I spend the whole day hoping we'll need to cancel.  It's so mean, but it's real, folks.  I mean, how many nights of being a happy party mom can I be, really? This photo freaks me out a little.  Kennedy having friends that are older than the other kids is fine because they don't look that much older, except THIS friend.  The boys are all in love with her because she's gorgeous, and she's tough, and she beats them all up at school.  Did I mention that she's ten and in real life she looks older than Kennedy.  They are in a different age bracket.  It's strange, but it's real.  I'm about to have a teenager in my family....