bsmiles and sunny days

Technically the day starts at 12am. I'll begin there with my lazy day. At midnight I brought the baby to bed to nurse one more time before I fell asleep. Put baby back to bed. No sleep, instead of staring at the wall, I wrote on my blog. Just as I wrapped up the post, Mose woke up with an earache. I comforted him for a few minutes  And laid back down.  In 5 minutes he cried again, So I relocated to his bedroom and put him in bed with me. I spoke softly to him and rubbed his head and prayed for sleep for both of us.  Around 1:30 the baby woke up to nurse which was a blessing because we were still awake. I fed him again, put him back to bed, and drifted off for about 20 minutes after which I woke up to Mose kicking the wall and singing a song. At that point I put him back in his bed and tried to sleep. 2:30 baby's up again. 4:30 again. 6:00 again. I fell asleep nursing him and Dale woke me up to iron at 6:30. I was awake enough to fry him some eggs And prayed again that I could f

I get ugly. I think things and say things  that destroy people  To feel better about myself. Why can't I just show love? It seems so simple, just don't say it.  Be kind or hush it. I never regret doing that. But I ALWAYS regret saying too much And tearing someone down.  These petty foolish thoughts of mine  Stem from insecurity. Oh that my mouth would pour forth  Words of LIFE  And not poison that seeps  Into the weak places of others  And corrodes. That my thoughts would even  Build and not tear down. All the ugly girls of the Bible  Are manipulators Complainers Destroyers Liars Back biters Adulterers... The beautiful ones are kind Loving Gentle Quiet Peaceable. Remember when Abraham gave Sarai to the pharaoh and said she was his sister? I always thought she was so lovely to go along to protect her husband.  Blind trust. Obviously she trusted the Lord to deliver her. She didn't fight Abraham or emasculate him for his fear of being killed. What a beautiful response to idioc

Emporia will always have a special place in my heart as my hometown. It's where my roots are. It's where our tree was planted. It's where my parents and our house and all those memories still are. We go home as often as possible because we can. It's a trip I usually have to make without my sweet Dreamy D because of his schedule, but I load up the troops and go anyway. Because we can. And it's always awesome. This particular visit was on account of my brother relocating to Emporia. That meant my brother, Sista and I would have the entire visit to party. We know we're obnoxious together. That just makes it funnier. In the days of my youth, the three of us were like the three musketeers. When I moved into position as the oldest still living at home, the dynamics changed drastically. We had some amazing good times together, which is still the case. In honor of spring break, we packed the visit with activites for the young'uns. Nana hosted the HOMEMADE PEEP PARTY

How this concept has ever escaped me Is most definitely a mystery. Words matter. Written words are the single most enduring element in this life. Words passed down through generations Were written and shaped our understanding of history. I've experienced firsthand  Being rescued from the depths of despair By the collective penned thoughts  Of a fellow believer. Our very existence was spoken. Words matter.  The enduring word of God  Sustains us in this life.  Jesus is the word, the logos  That was and is and is to come. Words matter. Lvb

Hourly sessions with Clinton through the night A wake up call late in the morning from Lol Scarlette wakes up talking and goes on for a very long time Deisha's tummy hurts. And her head. The kitchen is dirty. Breakfast is had by some but not all. I'm answering 3rd grade geometry questions as I wipe counters and walls. I make breakfast for Dreamboat and teach Deish to use her fingers to do big math problems. Now I'm ironing as she sits in a chair nearby sounding out words. Dreamboat is in a hurry and gone in a flash. The sleeplessness sets in the second he's out the door. Lunch for the littles and a nap for me. Mose and Clinton go down for a nap and I shower. We load up 5 minutes late for Tre's play only to find out we're 20 minutes late and missed the whole thing. Cookies and tea to follow the show. We collect both boys and head to appointments.  Drop one off, pick up pizza and sodas, drop one more off. Littles on the playground. Home before dark Kids play outsi

People  think when you have had a lot of babies, you must know what you're doing. I can manage a baby and a busy household, that's true, but when nighttime comes, I feel like a first time parent.  The baby is waking nearly every hour between ten and four o'clock. I tell myself, "This is ridiculous. He can't possibly need me every hour. I'm letting him cry the next time he wakes up." Then the next time comes... I let him cry for a minute, and I'm crazy, telling myself, "He doesn't feel good. My supply is low... He's my sweet boy, he'll be fearful if I don't rescue him..." I don't know what to do, so I just keep getting up. I love that while I'm walking dead from bed to nursery to bed, I can hear life above me. My teenagers are doing who knows what upstairs at all hours, and it gives me joy because they are together. As concerned as I ought to be for their disciplines and habits, I'm more concerned about their love f

Going on day 9 of this miserable cold... I don't get sick.  People drop like flies around here Coughing my my face Throwing up in my hands And I stay well. Somehow I've managed to contract A lingering, debilitating virus. You think I'm exaggerating? I've been in bed for two full days, And for the past 3 days No voice. Everything I say is either  A whisper, or At a raspy, half volume. Silent laughter Scowling for scolding. Clapping to attain attention. It's a blessing. A beautiful, blissful blessing. The gift of quiet. No yelling.  No accidental poison seeping from my lips, Just carefully spoken instruction. We homeschool, you know. I'm teaching sentence diagramming  And graphing ordered pairs  In a house with 9 children ...barely above a whisper. It can be done. Effectively done. There is No margin for sarcasm  Or exasperation   Or hostility. Just diligently delivered smiles. Carefully chosen words. Intentional eye contact. He speaks. I listen. Lvb