bsmiles and sunny days

Because when there is more than one kid, the noise... Even when they’re just talking, the volume in the car rises exponentially every time another voice joins the conversation. Let me introduce you to a little tool I call “no talk mode”. Suzy says to Ben, “Bet I can make this sound longer than you can!” Ben responds, “Nugget-uh! I can do it longer! Berrrrrrrrenrneneneeeeee” Suzy says, “Berrrrremerrnenrenenrnrehgghjjememrmrmee.” At this point everyone I’m the car has raised their volume to be heard, and Dad has turned up the radio. Mom calmly says, “Ben and Suzy, you are on No Talk Mode for 5 mi utes. At 1:46 you can talk.  A few pointers: Tell them what time they can talk so that when you forget, they will remember. If they don’t stop talking, have them close their eyes for the duration of the time allotted. If they continue to talk or make noise, usually giggling, have them sit on their hands or hold their hands together in their laps. Add minutes each time they break

In a crazy storm of anxiety and hormones, the Lord saw me in my distress and answered from heaven.  This week we spent three days with our precious friends in Arnold, Mo. We have decades of history, but as our kids grow, we find it more and more difficult to get together. I can’t remember the last time we saw them, until now. It’s funny that we all love being together so much. But we also crave time when the guys get away and us girls have a chance to catch up. Usually when we get together, the four of us go out for dinner while our gaggle of ninos stay with a sitter. Now that our kids are big enough to self-sit, we were excited to get out.  I’m not sure what happened in the exchange but before I went to the bathroom, we were all going out together. When I got out of the bathroom, the guys were in the truck and we were loading up the minivan. If we’re being really honest, I was a little disappointed. When we are all together, we laugh so much and have such a great time, I knew this was

In all of my studies and pursuits of the best way to educate a child at home, I’ve been overwhelmingly convinced that the greatest investment you can make in your child’s life is to read aloud to him.  Our school days are heavily driven by reading aloud. We spend a lot of time on couches next to a stack of books. Here are some of the tricks I have found to create an environment of fertile ground for learnings. 1. Busy hands, quiet mouths. Allow them to fidget, draw, take notes, or play as long as there is minimal noise. 2. Short sessions. We started reading in 15 minute blocks. We’ve worked up to about 30 minutes, but I am aware of mental fatigue and quickly move to something else when it begins to manifest. Fidgeting, sighing, staring out the window... 3. Break up reading with OTHER things. Between reading blocks, we wrote, draw, listen to music, observe works of art, etc. anything to engage their brains differently. 4. Don’t take yourself or your kids too seriously. It takes margins

This morning at the kitchen table in a guest house in Terre Du Lac, Missouri, my little ones were arguing about whose turn it was for the Kindle.  When I realized they weren’t finding resolution, I said, “Ask her if you can have a turn in 2 minutes.” and set my timer for two minutes. He did, she said yes, and when the timer went off, she passed the Kindle off to him and left the table to do something else.  One of the uncles in the room said, “That really works, huh?”  It does. I start using this technique as soon as a little one is old enough to ask for a turn. It takes a little training, but once each side understands that both parties will get equal turns, there is peace about sharing.  Lvb

I’m caught in a painful cycle of criticizing my husbands actions and motives. I find myself feeling personally attacked over the tiniest infractions. We’ve been together a lot. We’ve been in the company of happily married, perfectly balanced, highly disciplined people. Unfortunately it has turned the lights on in areas that perplex and pain me.   I’m not honest when I’m hurting. I don’t say what I’m feeling when a decision needs to be made that could potentially harm the security of our family. I’m quiet when I feel bowled over or disregarded. In the name of peacemaking, or conflict avoidance, I step away instead of speaking up.  Driving home from a week of precious moments with people we love, I have rolled over and over the things that I heard and observed wondering what it will take to bring change in me and my family. As I stared out the window, I heard the Holy Spirit speak, “Stop trying.”  Yeah... that seems like a bad idea on so many levels, but nothing I’ve ever done has brough

I’ve struggled with this terribly lately. Sin is crouching at my door constantly.  If we are to judge others based on the fruit of their lives, how do we know when sin is present who’s in what camp?  I ache to have the assurance of faith and to see the assurance of faith in others. What about fringe issues, things like alcohol, swearing, modesty? I hesitate to even bring these up, it’s just that there are people in my life that practice things that appear contrary to my understanding of righteousness.  If we are born again, we can’t continue in sin. We will practice righteousness. If we love Jesus we will act like him! Big what about when we don’t? What about resetting sins that trip us up over and over again? My understanding is this— Jesus is my righteousness, I’ll never be perfect. I’ll never be enough, even on my best day. But I must practice righteousness if I am born again, turning away from sin and acts of unrighteousness.  So what is sin, anyway??