bsmiles and sunny days

It strikes me that I have lived this way. Demanding. Insensitive. Bitter.  Begrudging. Short-tempered. Sarcastic. Angry. For a good part of our marriage, these were the tools in our parenting toolbox. If we can force obedience, we will.  But children break. Children are weak.  They are needy.  They cling.  Just like us. Even when we were lost in sin,  He drew us. With kindness. His kindness leads us to repentance. His mercy never ends. He gives when we have nothing to give in return.  That's the kind if parent I long to be. I want to give out of the well if His kindness. I want to forget 42 hours of constant testing and pushing and questioning and begin each day new. With kindness. I have no desire to live if I can't replicate the goodness of God in this life. Without it there's no color. It's a dark wilderness of strangers.  May my hope forever be to color the world with the kindest and the goodness of God. And I pray that it starts inside these four walls.  With kindn

I  met a woman with a large family years ago. We were fast friends, bearing each other's burdens before they were voiced. In the course of our friendship she shared a precious piece of wisdom with me from her husband. Never hurry. That's when accidents happen. That's how details get missed. Nothing good comes from hurrying. I hear her voice when I'm rushing the kids out the door to the car because I got up late. It's my fault, and I'm running them like cattle with a prod. 🐂🐂🐂🐂🐂🐂🐂🐂🐂 I'm hurrying. I hurry constantly. I'm never fully present because I'm completely scattered. I'm wishing for the next chapter before this one begins because it's hard. It's HARD! Like, crazy hard, to do all this. And I wasn't kidding about never sleeping again... Now that everyone is sleeping, I'm awake. Wide awake at 2:19AM.  I read Laura Boggess and I cry. Every. Single. Time. "Slow down, Love..." I hear Him calling me. "Come to