bsmiles and sunny days

Tis the season for all kinds of wonder and adventure! This guy was an early attender at our spring celebration. Last night we found a snake in one of our flower beds. I went to bed giddy with excitement at some of the shrubs I harvested from a mess in my backyard. They have waited patiently for years in a garden of snarled weeds and piles of yard waste. Their time has finally come for something greater, and I can’t wait to see what they become under my watchful eye and careful cultivation.  I feel a little like that, deep down in my guts.  “Now in a large house there are not only gold and silver vessels, but also vessels of wood and of earthenware, and some to honor and some to dishonor. Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from these things, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work.” ‭‭2 Timothy‬ ‭2:20-21‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬ https://www.bible.com/bible/100/2ti.2.20-21.nasb1995

  I woke up to a quiet house early this morning. I slipped out of bed, made myself a cup of tea, and settled in on the couch. After some quiet meditation, I picked up the book we are reading in my Sunday school class to start on my homework. I mean, it is due tomorrow!  I want to be transparent here, I am not crazy about the author. I like the subject we’re studying, but I have had a hard time getting wholly onboard with her writing style. Because I’m persnickety, I guess. But I love my class, and I want to have something to contribute in our discussion, so I read the chapter. Probably in the same vein of my dislike, my attention to my people has been average at best lately. I feel like I’m here, but I’m only partially tuned in. Sometimes I am waiting for the end of a long story someone is telling me, so I can go back to staring out the window. It’s exhaustion on multiple levels, I’m sure, but I feel guilty about it.  As I started reading, the Holy Spirit grabbed my attention with thes

If you are looking for a place to belong, Scarlette is starting up a new club. But be careful on the way to the meeting. You’ll have to pass Moses’s room, and there could be trouble! I have felt the lifting from all of your prayers. There is a settling of the waters, and I have gotten some rest. Thank you for girding us up, each one of you that prayed or reached out to us. The goodness of God has shone all around us on the path, even though it’s hard. I also feel the love of so many. It’s awe-inspiring when I think of how God has blessed us with an army of people to help shoulder the load. You are so very precious to me.  “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.” ‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭10:23-25‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬ https://www.bible.c

One day I was already late for work and when I realized I was almost out of gas. So after I picked up my cans for delivery, I stopped to get gas. That was when I realized my wallet was in the vehicle Dale drove to work that day. I was on the phone with Kennedy when I realized I was in a real pickle. I’ll never forget her response. She said, “I think I know what is happening to you. You’re having what is called a bad day.” I thought of her as I walked out the door this morning. I forgot to pull the car into the garage last night and it was covered with snow. I thought I was returning it to the dealership today so there was no gas in it. I was late before I got out of the driveway. When I got to work the head hancho was there, so he didn’t get the message I texted to my regular boss, who was home sick.  When I got home from work, Moses’s poison ivy had spread from his hands and arms to his trunk and face. After we went to the doctor, I threw my blankets into the mountain of dirty laundry

  I feel a little like I’m running on fumes over here. We keep hitting roadblocks in Dale’s podiatry journey. I am grateful for the simplicity of our life, which lends to significant flexibility when we need it, but I’m tired. I am pulling double duty while he isn’t able to drive. Please, all of you that follow Jesus, please pray for Dale’s foot to heal and for him to endure the process with joy. And pray for me to have the energy I need to keep up with whatever is required of me.  “The LORD is my strength and song, And He has become my salvation.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭118:14‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬ https://www.bible.com/bible/100/psa.118.14.nasb1995

  We were just kids, straight out of Bible college, ready to change the world. We had no idea that there was an avalanche ready to bury us the minute we stepped out into the big world. I’m so glad no one told me what was coming; I would have been afraid. I might have wanted to shrink back, but in His mercy, the Lord shielded me from knowing. I walked right into our new life with total confidence and trust. I was fearless.  Then came the hard part. There were seasons that it was so dark I couldn’t see Him. There were times I was so entrenched in sin that I didn’t want Him. There were days that I wished for death to stop the ache in my heart. But in His goodness, the Lord held me. He comforted me. He gave me light. He led me out. He steadied my heart. Through suffering I learned obedience and blind faith. “After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.” ‭‭1 Peter

  I found this little poem on the counter yesterday when I was scrubbing sweet tea off the surface. My sweet Scarlette wrote this sentiment from her heart. I don’t know when she wrote it or what inspired it. I don’t know what the part she erased said. I just happened to read it before tossing the notebook into the junk drawer. One of the hard parts of being responsible for all these lives is that I never know whose needs are met and who is going without. I ask God to show me, but sometimes I get busy and things fall through the cracks. My little boys’ light fixture burns through lightbulbs in less than a week, which leaves them in the dark for the rest of the month. It usually takes at least that long for me to get the lightbulbs changed again. I have a new fixture for their room, I just can’t seem to get it installed. Sometimes I lie awake and beg God to cover the bases of things I’m missing. Other days I rest in His mercy and ask Him to show me what is mine to do and how to leave the

  I want to be great at growing things and cultivating life, but I’m terribly forgetful and easily distracted. Once in a while I receive a plant for gift and determine to turn over a new leaf and water it regularly. It’s a lie I tell myself. Instead I end up killing it every time.  When I let go of the dream to return our backyard to the oasis of beauty of its former days, I began to transplant pieces of the mess in the backyard and place it strategically in the front yard where I could more efficiently manage them. Because of the genius of the previous owners of our house, everything I’ve planted has flourished.  A few weeks ago I noticed that there were daffodils out in the woods by our fence line. Today I dug them up and planted them in the front yard. I felt like I’d won the lottery as I collected 13 bulbs previously buried under leaves and sticks and trash the raccoons dragged out of our trash cans. These little blessings thrill my soul and make my life beautiful. Thank you, Jesus

  I was a TV kid. I watched TV before school, after school, and Saturday morning. I knew the prime time schedule for every weeknight. I didn’t like football, so I never watched TV on Sunday, but I knew it was on.  When I married Dale and we would visit his family, after dinner they would all go sit outside. The kids would play and the grown-ups would talk. No one was in a hurry to leave, they all just found a spot and settled in. I didn’t know how to do it. I wasn’t in the habit of doing much of anything outside. I’d stay on the couch at his house while everyone else went outside. He’d casually mention that I was inside and they were outside, so I would eventually join them.  I don’t know when it shifted, but I love being outside. I love seeing and noticing beautiful things. It gives me glimpses of heaven.  This is the beginning of everything good: spring. Newness of life. Hope of change. A fragrant aroma and a change of scenery. In weeks, the deadness and darkness is transformed into

  Yesterday the podiatrist called and said that Dale’s follow-up appointment would be 3 hours long. He needed an IV antibiotic infusion to treat an infection in the bone.  Today I am grateful for so many things. When the doctor removed the bandages, Dale’s foot already showed incredible improvement. I’m so glad that we felt the urgency to go back and get his foot checked. If they hadn’t uncovered the infection, it could have transitioned from acute to chronic infection causing critical damage to the bone.  I’m grateful that we were able to get a comfortable couch with a recliner before the procedure so that his recovery would be more bearable. With that, I hate to admit it, but I’m thankful that we were given a TV for the living room. It’s a good distraction from the chaos and these walls. Mostly I’m thankful that in all of this we have seen the continual providence of God. He is laying the groundwork for each step before we even know we need it. A comfy couch doesn’t seem like a thing

  The darkness in the distance felt like impending doom. I wasn’t afraid, but I was on guard against slowed traffic and hydroplaning vehicles. It was raining at the beginning of the trip, and with the rain came blinding lightning and crashing thunder. I wasn’t afraid, but I drove slowly and asked God for His help. I tend to anticipate difficult days in every season. With each pregnancy I asked the Lord to prepare my heart for whatever was coming, in the event that something would go wrong. When I notice something off in my body, I promptly assume that my end draweth nigh and ask God to prepare my family for my death. Just last week I was having a scan done to rule out the end of me.  My sister calls it my morbid fantasy; I call it being ready for anything. Maybe it’s just an idiosyncrasy that will always be part of me. At any rate, that’s what I felt as I approached these dark skies. I wasn’t afraid, but I was thankful when the rain stopped. “Many plans are in a man’s heart, But the co

After reading How Not to Die, I have been attempting a plant-based eating regimen. I was sold on the science that food can hurt and food can heal. What I didn’t believe was that food, exclusively from plants, can satisfy. I’ve talked about my struggles with weight and my love affair with food before. What I have failed to mention is that I have never truly been satisfied by food. After 10 days of eating predominantly plant-based foods, I can honestly tell you I’ve never felt more satisfied. Easter dinner was the ultimate test. I stuck to the plants and when I was done eating, I didn’t feel over-full like I usually do. I ate a piece of cake, but when I walked away from the table, I didn’t wander back to it for dessert multiple times. My appetite was satisfied so I didn’t need anything else. When you fill your body with the things it was designed to live on, you won’t compulsively eat to satisfy yourself with other things. Your soul has the same compulsive cravings. When you fill it with

  I’m a busybody. I don’t like that word and I don’t like labeling myself with it, but it’s true. I like to be busy. I feel better when I have a purpose. I’m happiest when I’m Mary, but I’m Martha through and through.  This guy has had a rough year with this foot. His initial procedure was supposed to be a “one and done” non-invasive surgery on a toe, but it turned into a real ordeal after an unusual biological turn of events. This week he went back for a second surgery. We are praying for a full recovery this time.  I secretly love that he is grounded to the house. It reminds me to stop being busy and sit with him. Our lives are full and they require a lot of hustle if we want to live with any semblance of order, but the work will always be there. The people won’t.  I’m grateful for the opportunity to tend to Dreamboat for a few weeks. He works selflessly to provide for our family, and when he’s home, he engages with each of us in his own way. His attentiveness toward me is soul-satis

I was struck by the resurrection this year. It felt so much more precious to me than ever before. I remember sitting in church a few years ago trying to will myself to feel something about it, but it was shallow. I have always recognized the significance of it, but somehow the eggs and the food and the clothes overshadowed the power of our Lord’s resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings.  This year God had my attention. We’ve had a year of blessing. There is peace in our camp. We are healthy. Our children are close. The world is chaotic, but in our lives there is an undercurrent of peace and joy. It has enabled me to focus on Jesus every single day without distraction. The days have turned into weeks and months, and our relationship deepens with each encounter I have with Him.  I kept hearing the phrase, “prepare our hearts for Easter” and wasn’t sure what that meant. But as we followed along with the tradition of Lent and Holy Week, I found myself intensely focused on things

When we walked in the front door of my parents’ house, I was arrested by the smells of home. Bacon frying.     Maple syrup boiling. Butter sizzling on a hot griddle. I compulsively reached for my phone to capture it. Then I remembered that there are limitations to what this device can do. It’s because they’re moving. I want to capture all of it before the end comes. My parents bought this house when it was the product of severe neglect. The former occupants were lovers of this world and they left evidence of its darkness behind.  My parents asked the Lord to make it a lighthouse. To remove the stain of its past and make it a home for their precious family. Year after year they worked hard to restore the broken places of the house as they sowed seeds of faith in their children.  Today their house is a landmark of goodness. Everyone that has ever crossed the threshold was received with light and love, and if they were lucky, some of my mom’s legendary chocolate chip cookies. I want to dr

  I didn’t grow up in a liturgical church so I had never heard of Maundy Thursday until we started going to FBC Platte City. They offered a service during Holy Week every year, but I never went. Thursday is a family day for us, and I guard it fiercely. But this year was different. On Ash Wednesday we made our individual commitments as a family and observed Lent with new eyes. I assumed that Resurrection Day was the end of Lent and that’s what I told my kids, who were counting days. You can imagine our surprise when Dale set the table for Maundy Thursday today and explained that this was the end of Lent.  It was a humble setting for a meager crew, and I loved every second. We solemnly observed the Lord’s Supper together and thanked Jesus for a his sacrifice for us. Later we went to our first Maundy Thursday service at church and poured our hearts out in worship and gratitude to our Lord, who loves us more than we can ever comprehend. Tonight I feel humbled and full and rich. I don’t kno