bsmiles and sunny days

I'm so sick. Of course I saved all my work for the end of  the week so I could have a squeaky clean house when Dale came home. Then I laid in bed all day. I'm up now. Hoping to get all that squeaky cleaning done in the next hour so I can go back to bed. Ugh... I wish I had a video recorder going at all times so you could hear my little girls singing and some of the wacky antics of the boys or the screaming and laughing from the big girls. But today I'm glad you can't see into our world. It's kind of a mess and I am a lazy cow. This is what it comes down to. I may be the glue in this house but Dale is the structure. He gives our lives deadlines and goals and destinations. I don't do well without him. Maybe I have needed a break but mostly I am very very lazy if I can be. And that's what it comes down to. I'm ready for him to be home. I adore him so... Don't get sick, friends. Once it moves in, in never goes

4:30 am I am wide awake. Dale is gone It storming Fan is blowing It's the perfect combination for sleep But I'm wide awake. A few things... I'm sick. I've been sick off and on for months. I get better and then my lymph nodes swell up And I wake up in the middle of the night Sore and parched. I'm worried. 15 weeks pregnant and I haven't told my boss. I have a hunch she knows Buuuut I fear it will hurt her feelings That I haven't told her. I didn't want her to worry. Now I'm worried. Funny. I am brainstorming how to quit my job And still bring in some income. I have done a few things recently In the budget that will help. Not enough. So here I am awake. Wiiiiiiiide awake. I'm thinking about turning the tv on. No reason I can't, I'm all alone down here. It's a strange feeling, To be all alone. I've been considering Beginning a writing project. My life as a novel. Someone suggested it years ago