bsmiles and sunny days

He bids me, though I wander, standing off, feeling afraid, to lay my worries down with all the promises I’ve made. Live no longer with a weight of knowing when or how, “Come and die, my love,” He calls me, “come die with me...” just now. A race down to the bottom, freely give it all away. Give up rights and expectations made along the way “Let it go, love, you can trust me,” by His voice you know it’s true, “Come and die, and you will live in true abundance, Me with you.”

Your children will become versions of you.  Be the version you love as often as possible.  My daughter was gracious enough to come over and spend the night so that we could go play an all night domino tournament with friends away from home. She had to leave early the next morning. It was probably two days later when I noticed this little gem on my fridge.  There’s so much I love about this, I can’t even... but I’ll try. A few weeks before she stayed the night, she was over and noticed one of these notes on the fridge for my little birds still in the nest. Usually my note is more like a list of chores along with my sentiments following. She said, “One thing I love about living away from home is not waking up to these lists!” 😂 Ironically, she reciprocated that very thing when she was in charge.  It means she sees the value in it.  It means she is doing what I do without me ever having told her to do it.  It means her heart is tender toward my little ones, and tha

I’ve lived in the basement for seven years. We moved out of our first-ever master bedroom out of necessity for the accountability and security of all of our people. It was easier to manage a baby and two toddlers that way, too. Teenagers upstairs, little ones down. I spent those years dutifully picking up after the tv parties every night, wiping down the toilet before I sat on it every time, and buried in blankets because, well, it was a basement. We had no walls, no door, minimal privacy and no end in sight. The little girls moved upstairs at one point leaving me hopeful, but one of our grown children needed a layover here between career paths, and we happily welcomed her in. All this time I prayed that someday the Lord, in His infinite mercy, would restore to me walls and a door and privacy. Dale was content to stay in the basement, hoping to make it a private refuge, the whole lot of it. I was not on the same page, but I was willing to stay if he had his heart set on it. T

They tried to tell us marriage would be hard. Once when we were engaged, a seasoned older marriage couple drilled us on how many kids we would have, how we would manage difficulties, and what we would do about each other’s idiosyncrasies. We scoffed at their doubts about the strength of our love. They actually got in a fight while they were talking to us, which further fueled our confidence. It wasn’t long before we realized it would take more than confidence to arrive at a safe place in our marriage. Undoubtedly those early days were powered by passion. Who knows what love is when you’ve only known each other a year? We certainly trusted God to know what He was doing when we were questioning how we even got together after only a few weeks married. It was the sovereignty of God and time that fastened us... time is a powerful solidifying agent. Forgiveness, also, becomes a necessary balm on the wounds of a marriage, one that must be applied over and over and over and o

  This is decidedly our favorite holiday of the year.    Each year on November 1, my mother-in-law and I wake up before the masses to have a quiet cup of coffee together. As the littles trickle down the stairs, we begin the preparations for Thanksmas mountains.  This a traditional brunch of biscuits and gravy, fired potatoes, eggs, French toast, homemade syrup, egg nog and orange  juice. This year, per special request, we added waffles. Following brunch, we get out all the Christmas decorations from their sleeping places, and place them magically all over the house and porch and yard where they spread joy and the promise of redemption every single day for the next two months. We are not crazy, we are lovers and followers of Christ. Everything that Jesus is shines in Christmas, when God became flesh and came to dwell among us. This is the highlight of the year, and I feel so lucky to be able to celebrate it with all of my children, my dreamy husband and my beautiful

There’s something powerful about this moment.. We have been raising children together for 22 years. The metamorphosis that is the product of time, experience and God’s work in us is extraordinary to me. I have prayed for things that I never really believed I would see in the way this guy engages with our people, and yet the Lord is faithful to continue to surprise me by doing things much bigger than my meager requests. Don’t waste your marriage by wishing it away. Love more, forgive more, and highlight the best parts as your love story. Pray often. Give your heartaches to Jesus alone. Let Him do the work in both of your hearts. It’s our calling, and we will not be disappointed. Lvb

I had this idea that when I got home from the laundromat I’d turn on some music, start dinner, put the clothes away, and put away  groceries. It seemed sort of romantic, except that I didn’t know what I was going to make for dinner. It was half an hour past dinner time.  And my cabinets were so wrecked that I couldn’t put anything in until we cleaned some stuff out. And by we I mean me. It’s 7:30, and Mose just finished his third bowl of macaroni and said, “ boy this sure did take you a long time to make!” 😂🤣😭👌🏻 Yes. Yes it did.  I still haven’t put the clothes away because my house is such a disaster area that I’m turning circles putting one thing away, distracted by another, stressed over a stupid mess in the living room... I’m not coping with my chaos well today. I haven’t showered. I ate the frosting off of half of a chocolate cake. The whole half. Completely stripped it. Like a boss. And now after I finished off the healthy oatmeal that I added

This photo takes my breath away.  These three stunning beauties bear my mark. They carry my blood.  They are disciples of the life I have designed for them.  Who am I that God in His lofty place  would condescend to grant me the tender mercies  of giving life and sending out so much beauty into the world as these? They have depth and grace and passion for things that only they see. The Lord, my Lord, strong and mighty, lives in them,  and I am left speechless.

After more than two decades of parenting, and now having three grown, one busting to get out, and 5 still tucked in the nest, I want to give you my best, absolute, best advice. Keep your anger far, far from your children. It’s not easy, maybe it’s nearly impossible, I mean, let’s be honest, there’s no real perfect, but try, try, and try again. You’re going to get mad a million times, but when you do, try this. 1. Just. Stop. Talking. 2. Go outside. Take a breath. Then take another one. 3. Practice what you’re going to say in another room before the machine gun of words starts mowing kids down. 4. Ask your partner to help you keep the devil away. The anger of man does not, will not, can not produce the righteousness of God. 5. Stop yelling.  A gentle answer turns away wrath. 6. Let your gentleness be evident to all. 7. Identify your triggers so you can more quickly diffuse them.  8. Have a sense of humor. Your position is not compromised by engagement in silli

Never alone Comparison Watching from the outside Never alone Consistently lonely  Smiles and perfection Regrets and self-loathing Comparison, the enemy of contentment Though shall not covet thy neighbors wife?  Though shall not covet thy neighbors life...

Tonight my son let us know in the most severe terms that he wanted to be emancipated. Furniture was thrown, a bag of recycling was dramatically kicked across the room. My husband forced me out of the path of danger that I missed in blind confusion. My little girls hovered together in a back bedroom afraid of the fight.  In the wake of reckless teenaged abandon, the worst of its kind, I can’t seem to dam up the tears.  A few minutes ago I happened to catch a whiff of a wet bed. Automatically I stripped my boy and put him in clean, warm, dry clothes. Now another little boy has wandered onto the couch where he’s snoring away. I can’t help but wonder if they will hurt us too. Will they progressively become more careless with our feelings and consumed with their own? Will they throw things and yell and trample us with their reckless emotions? I have always said having a big family is not for the faint of heart, but mercy... I’m beginning to wonder if we’ll survive five