on raising children

After more than two decades of parenting, and now having three grown, one busting to get out, and 5 still tucked in the nest, I want to give you my best, absolute, best advice.

Keep your anger far, far from your children.

It’s not easy, maybe it’s nearly impossible, I mean, let’s be honest, there’s no real perfect, but try, try, and try again. You’re going to get mad a million times, but when you do, try this.

1. Just. Stop. Talking.

2. Go outside. Take a breath. Then take another one.

3. Practice what you’re going to say in another room before the machine gun of words starts mowing kids down.

4. Ask your partner to help you keep the devil away. The anger of man does not, will not, can not produce the righteousness of God.

5. Stop yelling.  A gentle answer turns away wrath.

6. Let your gentleness be evident to all.

7. Identify your triggers so you can more quickly diffuse them. 

8. Have a sense of humor. Your position is not compromised by engagement in silliness. Laugh if it’s appropriate, then correct if necessary.

9. Talk to your people the way you wish your mama would’ve talked to you (or did talk to you!)

10. Recognize circumstances that need decompression- sleepiness, hunger, cabin fever, messiness, and handle them before engaging disciplinary action.