4:30 am

-
4:30 am
I am wide awake.
Dale is gone
It storming
Fan is blowing
It's the perfect combination for sleep
But I'm wide awake.

A few things...
I'm sick.
I've been sick off and on for months.
I get better and then my lymph nodes swell up
And I wake up in the middle of the night
Sore and parched.

I'm worried.
15 weeks pregnant and I haven't told my boss.
I have a hunch she knows
Buuuut I fear it will hurt her feelings
That I haven't told her.
I didn't want her to worry.
Now I'm worried.
Funny.

I am brainstorming how to quit my job
And still bring in some income.
I have done a few things recently
In the budget that will help.
Not enough.

So here I am awake.
Wiiiiiiiide awake.
I'm thinking about turning the tv on.
No reason I can't,
I'm all alone down here.
It's a strange feeling,
To be all alone.

I've been considering
Beginning a writing project.
My life as a novel.
Someone suggested it years ago.
How fun would that be?
It could be good therapy for me.
Things that drive me crazy
Could suddenly be material for my project.
Things like
Today on the half-hour drive to Liberty
Tre sat in the front seat with me.
He asked me 30 questions
Before we arrived.
Instead of telling him
He had reached his limit,
I counted and smiled
As I politely answered.
Crazy boy.

I guess I will turn on Parenthood reruns
And try to go back to sleep.

I hope you are well
And that life is good.

Lvb

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