fear and trembling
April 4, 2020
My husband set up a "hang-out" on our front porch, 6 feet away, with our friends that we always have the best time with. When he set it up, it was 65 degrees outside. We the day came for them to come hang out there were icicles on the house. I have never been reluctant to have people over for a fun night, it's my favorite, and I love people and I love talking and laughing and playing games. But I felt anxious about having people, two people, husband and wife, so technically one set of germs, in my house. We would be at max capacity, with our 8 present, but again, same germs. It'd be like two people. And with dominos you don't have to sit on top of each other. We have plenty of space to spread out at our huge table. But I still... was hesitant.
It's so weird. I feel like I'm going to get in trouble if I talk to someone. We are staying home. I go out to do quick errands, touch only what is absolutely necessary, and get home. But when I see someone I want to talk to, I hesitate. I can't help but think of the long-term ramifications of this quarantine. It's a struggle to connect with people in our normal world. Now it's practically a law that you can't. I don't want fear to rule me, but I'm certainly letting it have it's effect in my life.
These are the things I think about in the long hours of these endless days. Eating junk food and drinking diet soda do not make it any better, either. Trust me, I've tried. I'll keep testing it, but I'm pretty sure. Neither do brain games on the iPad help. Quiet times with Jesus and exercise relieve the pressure. Some of it, but not all.
It's a marathon long-haul of unknowns. I'm grasping at straws for relief from it. This should be the life I've always dreamed about. No schedule. No hustle. Time to accomplish all I want to in my house, uninterrupted, but instead I'm bemoaning the weirdness and trying to hide from the virus.
This week my big kids were talking about leaving their door open to the balcony of their apartment. They read that germs can travel on the wind up to 26 miles. Were they at risk for catching the rona by leaving their door open? It seems far fetched, but NO ONE KNOWS!!!
God knows. God sees. God hears. He has numbered our days, Becca. He knows you are self-medicating, and He keeps calling you back to the quiet place to absorb His peace. Listen. Turn to Him. He alone is able to calm the wild restlessness inside you.
My husband set up a "hang-out" on our front porch, 6 feet away, with our friends that we always have the best time with. When he set it up, it was 65 degrees outside. We the day came for them to come hang out there were icicles on the house. I have never been reluctant to have people over for a fun night, it's my favorite, and I love people and I love talking and laughing and playing games. But I felt anxious about having people, two people, husband and wife, so technically one set of germs, in my house. We would be at max capacity, with our 8 present, but again, same germs. It'd be like two people. And with dominos you don't have to sit on top of each other. We have plenty of space to spread out at our huge table. But I still... was hesitant.
It's so weird. I feel like I'm going to get in trouble if I talk to someone. We are staying home. I go out to do quick errands, touch only what is absolutely necessary, and get home. But when I see someone I want to talk to, I hesitate. I can't help but think of the long-term ramifications of this quarantine. It's a struggle to connect with people in our normal world. Now it's practically a law that you can't. I don't want fear to rule me, but I'm certainly letting it have it's effect in my life.
These are the things I think about in the long hours of these endless days. Eating junk food and drinking diet soda do not make it any better, either. Trust me, I've tried. I'll keep testing it, but I'm pretty sure. Neither do brain games on the iPad help. Quiet times with Jesus and exercise relieve the pressure. Some of it, but not all.
It's a marathon long-haul of unknowns. I'm grasping at straws for relief from it. This should be the life I've always dreamed about. No schedule. No hustle. Time to accomplish all I want to in my house, uninterrupted, but instead I'm bemoaning the weirdness and trying to hide from the virus.
This week my big kids were talking about leaving their door open to the balcony of their apartment. They read that germs can travel on the wind up to 26 miles. Were they at risk for catching the rona by leaving their door open? It seems far fetched, but NO ONE KNOWS!!!
God knows. God sees. God hears. He has numbered our days, Becca. He knows you are self-medicating, and He keeps calling you back to the quiet place to absorb His peace. Listen. Turn to Him. He alone is able to calm the wild restlessness inside you.
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