Struggling

I want to organize my workroom.

I want to take the junk off the top of my bookshelves.

I need to clean the bathroom.

I need to change sheets.

I need to de-clutter my bedroom.

I need to organize toys.

I need to get rid of stuff in my garage so I have some storage areas.

I need to make lesson plans for next school year.

I should go through clothes to see what we need for the fall.

I should make menus for the next week.

I want to take our broken TV apart and see if I can fix it.

I need to do plank for today.

I want to read a book.

I need to put kits together for the preschool art class.

Dale is off tomorrow, so I need to do laundry and catch up my cleaning for tomorrow.

And guess what I did today...

...went to the Y.

...took the kids out for ice cream.

...looked at facebook.

...snuggled Moses.

...planned a dream getaway with Sista that will never happen.

...planned a getaway with Sista to see Sista-in-Law that is happening.

I'm thinking about buying hamburgers for dinner... and making a run for the border.

But here's the thing, if I ditch this life, the only thing I can really leave behind is this house and all this stuff and all this work.  Which would help with this nagging, building anxiety that sits on my chest like a silverback gorilla just waiting to choke the life right out of me.  But eventually I will have to cook and clean and organize.  When you are in charge of managing the lives of this many people, that just goes along with it.

Scarlette is screaming.  I might throw up.

lvb