Maybe a little explanation...

It was a meltdown.

I know you don't know what I was talking about in my last post... I've been crazy lately. Like psychotic. I told Dreamboat that I was acting like a psychopath, and I was. But guess what?? IT HELPED! It helped to get the advice that I would have given someone else! I felt better.

Can I say something here? I did a "test run" on a keto diet. Like, full-on, the breath, the odor, less than 20 carbs a day, and I was golden. I did really well on it, it gave me this sense of control with food that I don't recall having ever before. I lost 10 pounds, my belly started shrinking, and I was on top of the world. NO ONE encouraged me to stay the course, because of course when you eat a weird diet people freak out.

NO ONE was freaking out when I was eating bear claws two at a time. No one seemed to mind when they saw me make three trips to the buffet and then drink a caramel white mocha with whipped cream and caramel drizzle... seriously. I could knock down 3000 calories without breaking a sweat, and no one seemed to be concerned. Even when I went to the store to buy plus size jeans because I could no longer breathe in my current wardrobe. Not a word. But stop eating bread and people lose their MINDS!! Researching the dangers of low carb eating...

I needed to talk about it and it only seemed to upset people so I had to sort of hide it. Like when we had spaghetti for dinner, I poured the sauce over my green beans and put half a piece of bread on my plate so as not to cause any alarm in the ranks. 

However, the funk was unbearable. I mean it was toxic. The worst. So I bailed on Thanksgiving day and by the end of the week I found my face buried in a bowl of cookie dough. Tragically this happened almost everyday for the following week. I felt sick. I was nervous. I felt insatiable. And I became a psychopath. My poor kids... I didn't physically harm anyone, but if words hurt, yikes. I'm so sorry.

Long story longer, I decided to go back to my low-carb lifestyle. Here are the results. This is the third day on a "moderate" low-carb diet. Or eating system. Or whatevs.

1. In the throes of PMS I am emotionally stable. It's like someone flipped a switch, and I'm better.

2. In two days I lost the three pounds I gained during binge week.

3. I am in control. Right now on my counter, there are cinnamon rolls, sugar cookies, English toffee, (all of this is homemade, mind you) peanut clusters made with butterscotch... yeow. And I have not desire to eat any of it. Seriously. Not an inkling. 

It's unreal how much this transforms me into a different person. I don't care if you don't want to talk about it. I need this. So deal. WAHOO!!!

lvb