Days like these

Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy. Deisha, for obvious reasons, keeps me extremely busy when she's awake. It's not that I can't put her on the floor in another room while I work in the kitchen or clean the bathroom. The thing is, when she's awake, I have am constantly aware that at any moment I could be pulled away from what I'm doing and have to tend to her needs, whatever they may be, immediately. It makes getting anything done difficult. So why is it that when she's asleep, I'll start a project, and then maybe another in the middle of that one, and then start a list, and then come in here and sit down in front of this blasted screen and just veg until she wakes up and is needy again? Then I'm frustrated because I can't get anything done. Even though I just blew an hour in cruising who knows what right here. I just don't know. Maybe it's a self-control issue. Maybe I really am just losing it and looking for something to blame. Mostly I think it's a matter of unravelling my tightly coiled mind. Having a baby is all-inclusive. There's no getting around the constant demand. Now add five more children that have their own set of needs and WHAM-O I'm empty by six o'clock, only at six o'clock I still have a list of things that have to get done before morning, what is what I am thinking about when I'm sitting in front of this blasted screen. I could get up and have it all done so that at six o'clock I could be done for the day and just hang with my crew. However, that's just not the way I roll, not yet anyway. Someday that will change and I'll master the disease of procrastination. For now, here I sit until the baby cries...