The comeback

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I am so excited to be getting into bed at 10 pm!! Seriously, crazy excited! I hope I can sleep!

Listen to me, mamas; I AM BACK!! I have been MIA for months. Months, I tell ya! I went under and wasn't sure I was gonna be able to come back up, but after a long  run a dark days, Jesus made the sun shine again! My happy disposition has returned and I am thrilled to be back I could just shout it from the rooftops!

Being "under water" has given me some real perspective. When I talk about being under water, I think it goes without saying, I'm using the analogy to describe a dark place emotionally. It felt like I was drowning, really drowning. I have sort of bobbed before, but this felt more permanent. I caught myself creating a new reality for survival- being fine. You know me. I'm never fine. I'm either on top of the world or grasping at straws. There's not really a middle for this girl. And here's one really amazing thing
that I grabbed onto with both hands. I like who I am! It took really loathing the person I had become to drive me to my knees and beg God to throw me a lifeline, for me to realize that. His design was for me to run the race in these shoes, and I'm gonna have a good time doing it!

I wonder if this is what it feels like to have Alzheimer's disease. Do you recognize that you aren't quite yourself in the beginning? There are obvious moments of clarity in the early stages, and I wonder if that's what it's like. You wake up feeling relieved to be yourself again.

Whatever's the case, I am celebrating! I'm here, present, dancing in the kitchen, singing in the car, making it count!!

Lvb

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