Sweet Homecoming
Yesterday at football practice Kennedy and I were going over the schedule for today, which I promised would be full of fun and excitement including the 99cents store, the McDonald's play land, and a half-day of school in honor of Dale's homecoming; a celebration before we pick him up since it would be late. As she turned to walk away I heard myself say, "Then we'll get Daddy, and I'll get my breath back..."
The last time we spent this long of a succession apart was right after I had Tre; he had a job in KC and I had a job in Burlington, we were both commuting from Emporia. He worked M-F and I left Friday night when he got home to go to work F-Su nights. It was agonizing. I don't recall how many weeks were lived like that, but we all cried every time he got back into the car to leave. Families just aren't designed to live together part-time. So you can imagine the strickening I felt in my chest when he got in the car three weeks ago and drove to the airport where he would be carried thousands of miles away from me.
If the truth be told, I thought it would be a good break, a breather, a nice reminder of what we have together. Little did I know how much more than that it would be. As much as I need him here to help juggle the details of our lives, I need him much, much more as a constant presence in my world. Everyday I watch the clock in anticipation of his homecoming on a normal workday. For three weeks I've been watching the clock, counting down the hours to his return. This is something that women in the world scoff at on the surface, this needy dependence on a man. But I think it links back to the curse where God made Eve's desire for her husband and him to rule over her. I have not studied this passage in depth, but I always thought that my intense desire is linked to that passage. It boggles my mind, as I have always been overtly independent, but eleven years in, I do not fare well without this man.
So today, the sweet face of God is shining on us because the countdown, while it's been agonizing, is almost over and I can almost get a full breath.
The last time we spent this long of a succession apart was right after I had Tre; he had a job in KC and I had a job in Burlington, we were both commuting from Emporia. He worked M-F and I left Friday night when he got home to go to work F-Su nights. It was agonizing. I don't recall how many weeks were lived like that, but we all cried every time he got back into the car to leave. Families just aren't designed to live together part-time. So you can imagine the strickening I felt in my chest when he got in the car three weeks ago and drove to the airport where he would be carried thousands of miles away from me.
If the truth be told, I thought it would be a good break, a breather, a nice reminder of what we have together. Little did I know how much more than that it would be. As much as I need him here to help juggle the details of our lives, I need him much, much more as a constant presence in my world. Everyday I watch the clock in anticipation of his homecoming on a normal workday. For three weeks I've been watching the clock, counting down the hours to his return. This is something that women in the world scoff at on the surface, this needy dependence on a man. But I think it links back to the curse where God made Eve's desire for her husband and him to rule over her. I have not studied this passage in depth, but I always thought that my intense desire is linked to that passage. It boggles my mind, as I have always been overtly independent, but eleven years in, I do not fare well without this man.
So today, the sweet face of God is shining on us because the countdown, while it's been agonizing, is almost over and I can almost get a full breath.
yeah - friday has arrived. have a great weekend.
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