On living BIG and slooowwww

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Here's my dilemma.
I have all of this living to do. Lots of work, lots of organizing, lots of cleaning, laundry, cooking, dishes, shopping...
And all this loving to do; snuggling, hugging, loving, kisses, singing songs, laughing, sitting and being present.

It's like I have two gears, BIG and slooooow. I'm either crazy-productive or like an old farm dog on a sunny day, only in a rocking chair on the porch. So when I'm busy, I feel good. I feel ecstatic to be accomplishing things. (it's been a while since I accomplished anything.) But when I'm present, stopped, aware, detached from the things of this life and focused on the things happening right in front of me, these moments happen. That's when I feel satisfied, really satisfied.
The thing is, if I hadn't been busy yesterday building and hanging these swings, this moment couldn't have happened!! GOD HELP ME! I need to learn the balance of working some and resting some. It's an intense discipline that only God can teach me. He will. But for now, I'm living life in the ditches- BIG and slooooowwww.

lvb

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