Duty calls

It's 1:02 AM. I have been hesitant to commit here. A few attempted entries, but nothing to write home about. B's is so cool and I have dragged my feet because I just don't have time to make my much of my space... but it occurred to me as I held my precious baby in my arms that this is the perfect platform for me to write what I can when I can, regardless of how pretty the wallpaper is. To be quite honest, the wallpaper in my house isn't a reflection of me either... so welcome to my world.

Lulu woke up at 12:30, just after we went to bed. She has been sleeping through the night off and on since about four months. She's seven months now. I don't mind. I enjoy the quiet moments I have with her when I'm not working. I was thinking about how much we all compare our successes to our babies and their performance. I heard a guy ask a woman if her baby was sleeping through the night on tv last week. The baby was four weeks old. She shyly answered, "Not quite yet..." as if she was not up to par because the infant couldn't be sustained through the night on the nourishment she had offered before bedtime.

I used to be a freak about that myself. I read and studied and searched the references until I found a program that promised I'd have a sleeping baby by 6 weeks old. It was true. It worked. Let the baby cry. And then at 3 months- through about 2 years- my tiny precious wonders would wake and cry in the night. I had suffered through so many nights of crying that I couldn't bear to go through the process all over again, so I did what I had to, to settle them. But when they were old enough to walk, they'd wander into my room and make a bed on the floor. I fully believe now that it was because of being abandoned as infants to cry in the dark until total exhaustion forced them to sleep. It made night time terrifying. That stuff sticks with you. (my insides wrench just thinking about it... the guilt...)

Last year I got pregnant with surprise number five. My husband was trying to finish his masters, and with me working nights, he was left with the crying baby. At his insistence, I tried to let her "cry it out". It ripped my guts out to hear her cry! I could last 30 minutes, but then I'd just break down. During the crying, both parties, I would scour the internet for answers. Turns out EVERY ARTICLE I READ by legitimate pediatric experts- medical and psychiatric- said that crying was instinctive and required a response- a baby younger than seven months could not be spoiled. If the baby was crying, the baby was in need. I couldn't fight my instincts any more. I had to change the paradigm I'd been clinging to for so long.

Kids are all different. They all need to be introduced to life in a way that they can digest. It's just not fair to toss them all in the apple barrel, then wash, peel, and core them alike. Some of them are pears; some of them are oranges. It's why life is so exciting. Sometimes, when you least expect it, you come across a mango and WOW! Mangos are fantastic!

I have determined that my next literary endeavor- I'm working on a novel right now- will be a non-fic on what I've learned about babies. The simplicity is astounding! I want to FIGHT the powers that are selling lies to young mothers in order to convenience them. Love your babies, as big as they may be. Kiss them and squeeze them and tell them how amazing they are because what you believe about them and what you say to them leaves a mark on their lives that will stick!