Heavy things

For four years we have been out of conventional ministry and serving as lay people in the church on various levels. Sheffield has proven to be a safe landing pad for us in past two years, but our feet starting to shuffle in anticipation of the next step and so we ventured out on a whim to visit a new church just to change things up. I am always curious to see how things run in different churches across the county, it's like being in someone else's house. I am also very critical when I walk into a church as I have learned not to throw the welcome mat to my heart out for every person that needs a place to wipe their feet. I was pleasantly surprised to be warmly greeted by not only those posted at the door, but also people at several stations along the way as we were taken to the childrens corner of the building and carefully instructed as to where they would be and what they would be doing. The music was good, the message was good, the service was good. A guy that met us at the door even remembered Dale's name and invited us to his home group. It was pleasant and comfortable and I would definitely go back and even consider attending a home group and a Sunday school class. I am fairly confident that given time, we would be able to not only connect to this fellowship of believers, but also find a place for ourselves there. It is set up right. And a year ago that would have been enough for me. That would have been exactly what I was looking for in a church. Not anymore.

I tend to set the standard too high. I have astronomical expectations for a lot of things outside of myself. Maybe I'm too much of an idealist, I always have been. I don't like to believe that the reality of the right now is the best that I am going to get. I want more... I WANT MORE. When I think about the body of Christ and everything that I know in my four page portfolio of information on life and God and church and the whole universe, I can put together about a pinhole's view of life in the New Testament church, but from what I can tell, those people were RADICAL. They gave it all for the kingdom; they sold everything they had and put all their money in a pot and used it to help each other and to advance the movement. They had REAL COMMUNITY. They had LOYALTY. They had BROTHERHOOD. Do these words even exist in our vocabulary anymore? I mean, we are all out there for a cause, but does anyone know what it is?

I want to be part of an army. Not just an army, a marine corp; I want to be a navy seal for the cause of Christ. Please. Show me where to sign up. I'll shave my head. I'll give up every food on the naughty list. I'll burn everything pink in my closet. I'll sacrifice sleep. I'll run sprints, I'll do three-a-days. I don't care. I just want to be apart of something real. Will the real body of Christ please stand up? Raid my house. Take me and my family to the headquarters. We are ready to fight. I don't want to be comfortable in church. I want to be convicted! I want the Word of God to grip me, I want His terrifying presence to drop me to the floor. I don't want to sit and wonder if I'm not dressed right or whether my hair looks ok or check myself out in the bathroom to see if I've lost enough weight. I want to be arrested in His presence, dumping my purse in the basket because I just can't seem to give enough when I think about our cause. WHERE ARE YOU???

If there in any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship in the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of one mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Phil. 2:1-2