Betcha!
... thought I fell off the face the earth??? Well I didn't. I'm still here. We had Tre's birthday, which I've been meaning to write about and post pictures and haven't yet, so I thought I'd wait until I got that done, but I have to load the pictures. For some reason loading the pictures seems like the most daunting task and I just haven't gotten it done. I even bought batteries and everything... it's just one more thing.
So I have this baby that cries all the time. OK, she doesn't cry all the time. She only cries when I can't hold her and she wants me to, or she's falling asleep and she really doesn't want to, or she wants to nurse instead of take the pacifier, and I can't sit on the couch all day long. As much as it might simplify my frustration, I just can't. I had resigned to the fact that she was fussy during the day, but after I got her into bed, she would sleep until daybreak. Whew. I had from about nine o'clock to seven o'clock to decompress from the day. However, she has decided to transfer her contentment to various parts of the day- not one long stretch, just an hour here, an hour there. So last night, and the night before that, and the night before that, she's been waking about every half hour to switch sides. Seriously, this baby wants to be latched on all night long. I am going crazy.
Sometimes I want to yell, sometimes I want to cry, and sometimes I just plain want to run head first through the sliding glass doors to release some of this tension. There's this war inside me because I want, more than anything, to enjoy these next few months because it will probably be the last time I have a baby, and I love having a baby so much. In fact I adore it, but she's making it so tough to really enjoy. And then, when she's happy, she looks into my eyes and smiles the most endearing smile and even laughs sometimes because we're so in love with each other. I'm Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde; totally happy one minute, totally miserable the next hour.
That's the other reason I haven't been here. But I'll tell you one thing; the complex B vitamin really does work. And here's why. There are some-- undesirable side effects of this vitamin, some minor intestinal side effects. They affect the entire household if you know what I mean, without getting too graphic here. So I stopped taking them just to see if that was really the case or maybe it was some weird leftover postpartum issue. Lo and behold, the issue ceased after a few days, but my moods took an immediate dive. Now, I've been back on for a week and I am back to feeling grounded and level. I didn't yell at my kids even one time all of last week and I was a single parent to boot. So that's a blessing.
Please pray for my little Deisha. (DAY-shuh; rhymes with geisha. Some spell it Dacia, just in case you were wondering.) If there's something we can do to regulate her schedule and her moods, I would do just about anything at this point. I thrive on normalcy and right now there is none; it's making me loco.
So I have this baby that cries all the time. OK, she doesn't cry all the time. She only cries when I can't hold her and she wants me to, or she's falling asleep and she really doesn't want to, or she wants to nurse instead of take the pacifier, and I can't sit on the couch all day long. As much as it might simplify my frustration, I just can't. I had resigned to the fact that she was fussy during the day, but after I got her into bed, she would sleep until daybreak. Whew. I had from about nine o'clock to seven o'clock to decompress from the day. However, she has decided to transfer her contentment to various parts of the day- not one long stretch, just an hour here, an hour there. So last night, and the night before that, and the night before that, she's been waking about every half hour to switch sides. Seriously, this baby wants to be latched on all night long. I am going crazy.
Sometimes I want to yell, sometimes I want to cry, and sometimes I just plain want to run head first through the sliding glass doors to release some of this tension. There's this war inside me because I want, more than anything, to enjoy these next few months because it will probably be the last time I have a baby, and I love having a baby so much. In fact I adore it, but she's making it so tough to really enjoy. And then, when she's happy, she looks into my eyes and smiles the most endearing smile and even laughs sometimes because we're so in love with each other. I'm Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde; totally happy one minute, totally miserable the next hour.
That's the other reason I haven't been here. But I'll tell you one thing; the complex B vitamin really does work. And here's why. There are some-- undesirable side effects of this vitamin, some minor intestinal side effects. They affect the entire household if you know what I mean, without getting too graphic here. So I stopped taking them just to see if that was really the case or maybe it was some weird leftover postpartum issue. Lo and behold, the issue ceased after a few days, but my moods took an immediate dive. Now, I've been back on for a week and I am back to feeling grounded and level. I didn't yell at my kids even one time all of last week and I was a single parent to boot. So that's a blessing.
Please pray for my little Deisha. (DAY-shuh; rhymes with geisha. Some spell it Dacia, just in case you were wondering.) If there's something we can do to regulate her schedule and her moods, I would do just about anything at this point. I thrive on normalcy and right now there is none; it's making me loco.
Comments
Post a Comment