These are the days

For the last three days, I have woken up like a hungry mama bear; mean, crabby, and bossy. Some days I just don't want to do this anymore. You know what I mean? I wake up to a fussy baby, usually have to spank one kid before nine o'clock, spend the next four hours juggling teaching, prodding, cleaning, entertaining, and disciplining all at the same time. It's hard. It takes all my energy and all my emotional fortitude to get through it. Fortunately, I usually have the option to take a nap, which is like a prize awaiting me in the middle of the day.

I have a few support people in education that are quick to tell me that my discontent is called spring fever, and it's brimming in the heart of every school-aged child. The end of the school year is in sight, the sun is shining and begging us to come out and play, and we just don't want to finish. It's a battle of wills to finish the race, but in spite of the dragging of my heavy feet, we manage to get through each day and eventually the weekend arrives.

Our week is a little jacked up in that Dale is home two days in a row in the middle of the week, so technically, I have two Mondays. On the flip side of that jagged edge, I also have two Fridays. And even though we have school on his days off, we have two weekends. It's a love/hate thing. Some days I just don't want to do it.

The thing is, I have these really great kids. And whenever I start to dream of being somewhere else, I lay out all my options and try to decide what I'd rather be doing. I could have a 9-5, I could live a life of solidarity and quiet, I could be running the streets and living la vida loca. Even on my worst days, I always come back to the fact that this is what I want. I want to be surrounded with the noise and chaos that comes with the life I've chosen. I wouldn't change anything about the path that we've taken. It's what I always wanted and I really love it. Sometimes I'm just too lazy to cope.