Monday, Happy Monday!
I think about this blog a lot during the day. If I could be down here writing all the time, and it's probably a good thing I can't, I would.
Let me first apologize for not including more pictures. I really don't like it when people post web cam photos of themselves in every post just to fancy it up. It seems silly. You know what I look like; it only changes when I am pregnant or have a major event coming up that I want to be skinnier for. What you are really hoping to find is a photograph of my kids or our house or something creative- like a bug or a project. You don't want to see me with my frumpy "stay in the house all day" hair and my smeared mascara from last night because I don't shower until we are about ready to walk out the door or Dale is about to walk it... It's just the way it is. I know you, the few, the faithful, will return and read- if not skim- this post; dazzling photos or not! It's because you love me. And reading blogs is fun.
The thing I think about the most, besides not having pictures because Sandy told me I need them, is that this is sort of a confessional. I'd much rather you come here to read something charged with insight, or some snippet of wisdom I picked up somewhere, or something them challenges you to change it up somehow. I'd really love for this to be like the Chesterton days, when I was reading real literature and sharing deep thoughts about God and His ways. Unfortunately my reading is choppy and scattered and so are my thoughts. I've been trying to get through the first chapter of a book I picked up from the library by John MacArthur for several days; there just isn't any uninterrupted time in my day. I am trying to remedy that, but it's tough when your kids aren't napping anymore! So naturally, the meditations of my heart are scattered. Is there a way to create depth in your life when you are in my shoes with big kids little kids and kids in-utero? Seriously, if you have found it, please call me. Getting up early is a legitimate option, but it's not very practical in the rhythm of our life. Anything else?
I keep missing the point. I want to share a lot of the things I think about here because I know you think about them too. But I'm not good at knowing what is right to share and what's not. You don't care. I think you would love it if I just spilled my guts. Especially now- I'm so self-absorbed when I'm pregnant. (ha ha, Dale. MORE self-absorbed when I'm pregnant.)
It's no wonder I am having a break-down every other day. When you are fixated on yourself and your life all the time, it's easy to see flaws everywhere. See I'm kind of an idealist. I want things to go a certain way, the way they should go. And when they don't, I cry. Or yell. It's because I am abiding in Becca and not in Christ. Pray for me. I am really struggling. I feel super vulnerable and super defensive at the same time. At the risk of looking pathetic I am not sharing my feelings outside these four walls, but I am on the verge of tears when I go out. It's taking serious fortitude to make myself go anywhere. It's part of being pregnant and being me. I am not "putting on" the virtues that are so critical to our faith- especially the one I was just touting days ago on the this blog. But I feel sort of breakable and it's easier just to hunker down and hide out with my crew- they ask why I'm crying and believe me when I say I'm just tired.
On a happy note, I've been trying to get the camera out despite all my groanings about it earlier, because I keep catching the little girls doing funny stuff. Micah, however, has been using my camera for stop-motion videos and is mid-project every time I want to capture a moment. Like yesterday; I walked into the kitchen to find Deisha sitting at the bar on a stool in her diaper. She had rigged her nightgown up like a cape by hanging it over her head and putting Tre's winter hat over it to hold it. It was the funniest thing! She is so imaginative and I love it!!! Just cracks me up, but it would have been way cuter with a photo and subtitle.
It's all about the juggling. I'll get all the balls in the air eventually.
lvb
Let me first apologize for not including more pictures. I really don't like it when people post web cam photos of themselves in every post just to fancy it up. It seems silly. You know what I look like; it only changes when I am pregnant or have a major event coming up that I want to be skinnier for. What you are really hoping to find is a photograph of my kids or our house or something creative- like a bug or a project. You don't want to see me with my frumpy "stay in the house all day" hair and my smeared mascara from last night because I don't shower until we are about ready to walk out the door or Dale is about to walk it... It's just the way it is. I know you, the few, the faithful, will return and read- if not skim- this post; dazzling photos or not! It's because you love me. And reading blogs is fun.
The thing I think about the most, besides not having pictures because Sandy told me I need them, is that this is sort of a confessional. I'd much rather you come here to read something charged with insight, or some snippet of wisdom I picked up somewhere, or something them challenges you to change it up somehow. I'd really love for this to be like the Chesterton days, when I was reading real literature and sharing deep thoughts about God and His ways. Unfortunately my reading is choppy and scattered and so are my thoughts. I've been trying to get through the first chapter of a book I picked up from the library by John MacArthur for several days; there just isn't any uninterrupted time in my day. I am trying to remedy that, but it's tough when your kids aren't napping anymore! So naturally, the meditations of my heart are scattered. Is there a way to create depth in your life when you are in my shoes with big kids little kids and kids in-utero? Seriously, if you have found it, please call me. Getting up early is a legitimate option, but it's not very practical in the rhythm of our life. Anything else?
I keep missing the point. I want to share a lot of the things I think about here because I know you think about them too. But I'm not good at knowing what is right to share and what's not. You don't care. I think you would love it if I just spilled my guts. Especially now- I'm so self-absorbed when I'm pregnant. (ha ha, Dale. MORE self-absorbed when I'm pregnant.)
It's no wonder I am having a break-down every other day. When you are fixated on yourself and your life all the time, it's easy to see flaws everywhere. See I'm kind of an idealist. I want things to go a certain way, the way they should go. And when they don't, I cry. Or yell. It's because I am abiding in Becca and not in Christ. Pray for me. I am really struggling. I feel super vulnerable and super defensive at the same time. At the risk of looking pathetic I am not sharing my feelings outside these four walls, but I am on the verge of tears when I go out. It's taking serious fortitude to make myself go anywhere. It's part of being pregnant and being me. I am not "putting on" the virtues that are so critical to our faith- especially the one I was just touting days ago on the this blog. But I feel sort of breakable and it's easier just to hunker down and hide out with my crew- they ask why I'm crying and believe me when I say I'm just tired.
On a happy note, I've been trying to get the camera out despite all my groanings about it earlier, because I keep catching the little girls doing funny stuff. Micah, however, has been using my camera for stop-motion videos and is mid-project every time I want to capture a moment. Like yesterday; I walked into the kitchen to find Deisha sitting at the bar on a stool in her diaper. She had rigged her nightgown up like a cape by hanging it over her head and putting Tre's winter hat over it to hold it. It was the funniest thing! She is so imaginative and I love it!!! Just cracks me up, but it would have been way cuter with a photo and subtitle.
It's all about the juggling. I'll get all the balls in the air eventually.
lvb
i'd rather have your words than nothing at all. i do like photos though!
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