MAY 19th?!?!?!?

Last night my sister and I were purusing the perpetual calendar on the fridge and discussing the coming weeks. I kept going back in time to evaluate what's next. She finally said, "No, honey, these weeks are done. We're here." May 19th. Naturally I said, "But where did these weeks go? Where are they?" At the end of the fantasiaus journey, how can the days flip by like minutes? At the end of my pregnancy, the minutes drag on like days. I fully expected that to be the case and here we are, hours- literally hours before graduation. How can it be? It's only by the grace of God that we have endured the troddened path. (Does that work? I don't care.) And here we are at the end. *heavy sigh*

Our interview with the Commision on Chaplaincy for the Assemblies of God was Wednesday, so we spent the night and went visiting our past Thursday. We were granted endorsement so we are officially Chaplains now, I am by proxy, with the AG. That means that we get discounts on Bible college, I just learned. WOOHOO! Now it will only be half a mil to put them all through! Hahaha. That seems absurd right now.

In recent weeks I have many times posed the question "who is my brother?" I was thrilled out of my wits to see my long time friend in Mecca; there is nothing like having a friend that knows all your secrets and loves you like a sister. You, my friend, are my brother. *giggles* I can only pray that God will see the hole in my heart that being apart from my sista and our family here will leave and fill it wherever we go. It's almost too much for me when I see M&A because we are days from the end. We have found such an amazing friendship with you guys... let's go on vacation together. *laughs* No. I'm serious.

Life is amazing; it's just the way that things happen and change and change you and make you love the things you hate and make you hate the things you loved. It's in grabbing onto the things that trouble you, and embracing them because they are from God, and making them precious to you, that burns out the garbage. At this point here is what I know: Acceptance your circumstances. Acceptance is freedom. Apologize; nothing is worth the energy it takes to stay mad when being in love is so much more gratifying. Read. Read everything that you can get your hands on- only filter if time doesn't allow for you to read. And think. THINK! Think for yourself. God made us thinkers and society has made us only crave entertainment, so shut off all the noise in your world that doesn't breathe and think. Run. Run because it will bring to life a part of you that you have never known, but always wanted to be. Be you. No one else is like you. No one else can be you. And you have something to contribute. Give it. Laugh. Laugh hard and a lot. Cry. Cry when you feel it and stifle it only for a moment when it's not appropriate, but only hold it until you can let it out. Cry because it's good for you and your body needs it as much as every other part of your being needs it. Don't make excuses. Your friends don't need them and your enemies don't believe them anyway. And by all means, love God: heart, soul, and mind. He is the only reason that we exist. Can you imagine... it brings Him glory when we love Him, totally love Him, with everything in us. So if God created us to love Him and serve Him and worship Him, than there has to be something inside us that craves all of those things. And when we give it all over... I mentioned how gratifying it is to be in love- now multiply that times GOD! Yeah. Wow.

b smiles signing off.