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bsmiles and sunny days

"Be desirous of doing the will of another, rather than thine own. Choose always to have less, rather than to have more. Seek always to have the lowest place, and to be inferior to everyone. Wish always, and pray, that the will of God may be wholly fulfilled in Thee." E. Prentiss

Chillin

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- January 06, 2014

Subzero wind chill.
Daddy is sick.
Mosee is sick.
Scarlette may or may not be sick.
We are snuggled down in front of the tv.
These are the best days of our lives.
Thank you, Lord.
Lvb

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quicksand

- June 29, 2021

I had my first hand-held video game when I was in grade school. It had two buttons, L and R, that were used to dodge cars and debris in the road. I was insanely jealous when my brother was given a watch that he could play Pac-Man on. I love video games. I love them too much. When Dale and I were first married I used to sit at the computer and play Burger Shop for hours and hours. As a young mom I spent all my free moments playing Solitaire on the desktop. In my darkest depression I played Diner Dash while the days and weeks passed unnoticed. I can remember feeling the shame of wasting so much time staring at a screen. My hand would cramp up from holding the mouse, and instead of taking that as a cue to stop, I’d shake my hand out and keep clicking away. My vices, while they may seem harmless, entrap me nonetheless. Sugar and video games work like quicksand. I dip my toes in and before I know it I’m sick to my stomach and I can’t move my hand. Pornography is an easy dodge. Overind...

The Days

- August 14, 2023

I found this butterfly on the sidewalk one day. It was lifeless perfection. I couldn’t help but wonder if it just fell out of the sky mid-flight when the end came. It feels like that every time someone I know dies. The end comes abruptly and unexpectedly. It catches in my throat when I think about it. Sometimes there is no warning at all. When Dale’s dad died, I kept thinking, “That’s it. He crossed the finish line without seeing it coming.” There was no time to get better at living. There was no grand finale. It was game over. I’ve always lived with this idea that someday I’ll feel like I’ve arrived on a plateau where I can say, “This is it! This is the place I’ve been working toward all these years.” I’m starting to believe that doesn’t exist here. God designed us to faithfully walk with Him, day by day, through mountains and valleys, good times and bad, always moving but never arriving. With that knowledge, I want my regular, ordinary everydays to bring glory to the...

baeba

- April 09, 2021

Yesterday the podiatrist called and said that Dale’s follow-up appointment would be 3 hours long. He needed an IV antibiotic infusion to treat an infection in the bone. Today I am grateful for so many things. When the doctor removed the bandages, Dale’s foot already showed incredible improvement. I’m so glad that we felt the urgency to go back and get his foot checked. If they hadn’t uncovered the infection, it could have transitioned from acute to chronic infection causing critical damage to the bone. I’m grateful that we were able to get a comfortable couch with a recliner before the procedure so that his recovery would be more bearable. With that, I hate to admit it, but I’m thankful that we were given a TV for the living room. It’s a good distraction from the chaos and these walls. Mostly I’m thankful that in all of this we have seen the continual providence of God. He is laying the groundwork for each step before we even know we need it. A comfy couch doesn’t see...