giving it all away

My sister is notably the most fun person I know. One day she sent me a video message that was recorded from under a desk. She was whispering, "No one knows where I am! I'm waiting for them to find me!" I laughed giddy with anticipation as I watched. I could hear different ones calling for her in the background. Each time someone walked past the desk, she shook with quiet giggles. I was rivetted! I could not, for the life of me, imagine what inspired her to spontaneously kick off a game of hide-and-go-seek and wait for her husband and kids to figure out that the game had already started.

I'm not fun like that. I'm fun like, I might spontaneously bake a pan of cinnamon rolls or order pizza at bedtime. Honestly. My kind of fun needs to happen on my terms and it needs to stay inside my boundaries of convenience. But she inspires me to give it all away. So, this afternoon I stopped everything to play Rack-o with my littles. Small sacrifice, big return. 

A few years ago I read a book by Ann Voskamp called The Broken Way  In it she told the story of a close friend that was dying of cancer. Her friend said that all she wanted to do before she died was give it all away. That phrase stuck with me, and I am constantly sifting my life through that filter. What does that mean in my world, inside my walls, day-to-day? What do I cling to and how can I loosen my grip on those things? Does giving it all away have to be as painful as it sounds??

Ironically, in my quest to learn the meaning and put it into practice, I have found that each time I make an effort to give it all away, I am filled with unspeakable joy. For example, a few days ago. I didn't have any kids at home, and I had a wide open morning to do whatever I wanted. That almost never happens. I quickly cleaned up my kitchen and picked up the house, then I did all the laundry. After it was folded and put away, I noticed that one of my girls had left her laundry near the washer, but was unable to start it because mine was running. She has done her own laundry for a few years now, but I decided to run it for her this time. It was a small thing, but I gave something away. My precious alone time. It felt good. 

This morning I was making breakfast for me and Dale, and one of my boys came through on his way to work. I don't typically make his breakfast, but I asked him if he wanted some eggs that I had already fried. He politely declined, and when I sat down to eat them, he said, "Why would you give me your breakfast?" I laughed and told him that it was because I love him. He left shaking his head. He couldn't understand, and honestly, I can't either. It's takes such little effort to give something away, but it has such a big impact. 

Giving it all away is only as painful as your connection to the things you hold tightly to. Your time. Your will. Your space. Your stuff. The more we learn to live with open hands, the easier it is to give it all away. When we are figuring up the cost, sometimes we forget that the return is huge. It's discipleship. We are sowing seeds of servitude and generosity and selfless love into the people into whom we are investing so much of our lives. 

Don't hang on to things that don't fill you with joy anyway. Find the riches of giving it all away, and wait and see if the goodness of the Lord doesn't come and fill you to overflowing. 

"4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no account of wrongs. 6Love takes no pleasure in evil, but rejoices in the truth. 7It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7