the wall

 

A few weeks ago my littles and I spent the weekend with some of the cousins. It was awesome. I had lots of junior moms in the house helping me run the show, so I could just enjoy my nieces and nephews.

At one point my nephew stomped into the dining room and dragged a chair down the long hallway to block the entrance to his room. I could hear him muttering something in frustration, but I wasn’t sure what was going on. Apparently his little brother was making messes in his room, and he had had enough of it. 

I felt real empathy. Every time I clean something, someone comes in and messes it up. Every. Single. Time. And there were so many kids in his space, I’m sure he felt overwhelmed and maybe a little threatened. I helped him to talk through it and vowed to help keep the blockade in tact for 2 hours, and then we agreed that we would take it down for safety reasons. 

I could relate on so many levels. I am still thinking about it, how I pile things in front of me to hide when I don’t feel safe or comfortable. I throw the weirdest things on top of the chair to keep a barrier up against everyone else, so that no one really sees me. Just in case they don’t like what they see. Or maybe they will criticize me, or make me feel small. If you look closely, you can see that there are lots of cool things on my pile to keep the attention off of me. Just in case I am not enough on my own. 

But I am not my own. I do not have to be enough. I don’t need to be accepted, because I have been adopted into the family of God and my identity is hidden in Christ. All the distractions fall away when I focus my eyes on the One that matters, the keeper of my heart. And He is where my soul finds rest. 

“For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!””

‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:15‬ ‭

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