Jasper

 Last year one of my boys left home for what would prove to be a long, agonizing separation. We sent him off with hugs and tears and cheers and heartache. When Dale’s car was out of sight, the kids and I went into the house to try to pull ourselves together. I hugged different ones in the kitchen while Kennedy went to find my little guy. He had disappeared from the herd. She found him in this same position with tears rolling down his cheeks. Instead of running to human arms, he found his comfort dog and let go of his brave facade. 

I didn’t want another dog. I was up to my gills in responsibility when my people started talking about getting him. The thought of adding a puppy to my list put me over the edge. I’ve mentioned that he drives me crazy, and lately his breath has gotten so bad, I can hardly look at him when he’s talking to me. Stings the nostrils.

He is neurotic and hyper and anxious and needy. He is a giant, but he’s a baby. He is smart, but he’s scared of everything. He growls ferociously to convince you to play with him, but he’s just speaking his own language.

Last week we spent a few days with our dear friends in Nebraska. Their little dogs were all over us, and I was smitten! I awoke to the sound of their feet flying down the stairs, and couldn’t wait to get to them. That’s when it occurred to me that I do like dogs. And I really like our dog. I’ve been afraid to say it because I don’t want Dreamboat to get the wrong idea and bring home another one. But admitting it to myself has been freeing, in a way. When I came home to Jasper, I felt thankful for the dog I never wanted, but grew to love so much. 

I stomped around the house for days, maybe even weeks, after he came to live with us. I was furious that what I wanted didn’t win the vote. It wasn’t fair, and I fought everyone. But after awhile I resigned to the fact that he wasn’t going anywhere, and that kind of grudge holding is poisonous to a home environment. Besides, what’s my motto? Acceptance is freedom. Once I let go of my will and embraced my reality, a softening happened in my heart. And look at him now. Against my better judgment, God knew we needed him.

“Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.”

‭‭James‬ ‭1:17‬