sad

Found this on the floor after church last week. We had stacks of these emojis, since each kid got em. I couldn’t help but laugh when I picked it up. Mad looks so much madder when the face is isolated at the tip of the paper airplane. And I sure don’t want to see that sharp red face coming in hot in my direction. I am ill-equipped for this kind of hostility.

I used some of the discarded emoji papers to write letters on for one of our own. He’s far away and needs some happiness from home. My little boys sifted through the stack to find sad emojis. They wanted to fully express what they were feeling about his absence.

I’m feeling it too. The unexplained anxiety. The shortness of breath. The random heart palpitations. The inability to focus. Maybe it’s not some fatal tumor affecting my mental faculties, instead maybe it’s the weight of towing the line. Constantly murmuring prayers. Waking to see if I have missed a phone call. Forcing myself to think about something else. Holding all of it with an open hand. My life is not my own, but my life is hidden with Christ in God.

“Have I not wept for the one whose life is hard? Was not my soul grieved for the needy?”

‭‭Job‬ ‭30:25‬ ‭NASB‬‬