progress

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I didn’t want to post a photo that included my fireplace full of junk. I don’t like it when people come to my house and my bathroom smells like the men’s room at a gas station. I have a vacuum plugged in next to my car in the garage, not only because it is good practice to keep things clean, but because I don’t want it to be messy if you ride with me. 


I love order and simplicity, but my life is full of disorder and complicacy. Even when I am the one that puts the groceries and dishes and laundry away, my careful stacking and folding and sorting is disheveled within the hour. It doesn’t make me a mess.


Actually, I am a mess, I just don’t like to say it out loud. I keep things. Today I found a paper Christmas bag that I received three months ago, and I stashed it in the garage because I might possibly need a quick gift bag next Christmas in nine months. I don’t know what I have to do next weekend because I barely know what day it is today. I laugh a lot because I trip over nothing on the sidewalk a lot. I stop talking mid-sentence a lot because I lose my train of thought and it’s impossible to recover. I get into incredibly awkward situations a lot. For example, I’m walking through the door of a restaurant and someone is holding it for me when I reach up over the person’s arm to hold the door for my kids because even though I know this person intended to hold it for me, I am not sure that they intended to hold it for the train of people with me, so I try to give them an out, but they don’t understand and they keep holding the door too. Now we’re both holding the door and I laugh awkwardly as I finally pass through and they generously say, “Nice family,” to which I reply, “You’re welcome!” 


I really want to be genuine and transparent, but I wrestle with pride and it causes me to attempt to hide my flaws. It’s so important to me to be honest, but I deceive myself and it taints my own reality. God has not perfected me, nor will He in this life, but I’m really trying to be like Him. And as long as I keep pushing forward in my love for God and others, it counts. Same for you.


“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭3:12-14‬ ‭NIV‬‬

https://www.bible.com/bible/111/php.3.12-14.niv


Comments

  1. MaryMarch 23, 2021 at 8:06 AM

    You are such an amazing woman. I am so awkward too and love to replay my awkwardness over and over in my head. I know that is the enemy. But yes, like you said, I just keep striving to me more like Him and that is all I can do.

    ReplyDelete

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