What matters

I ran into a woman at the grocery store

that I met at church.
She has a daughter and three sons.
When she is at church with her daughter
you can see that they are best friends.
They sit close and laugh and talk.
I saw on facebook that she dropped her daughter off
at her new dorm room last night
in Oklahoma.

I have thought about her all day.
I can't imagine dropping Kennedy off
to start her life away from me.
It's coming, I know,
but I can't really wrap my mind around it.
All my kids are going to leave me
someday.

I have spent so long wishing days away,
and now I am nearing the end in some respects
which makes me introspective.

I don't want to keep living this way,
busy,
life as usual,
crabby,
distracted...
for the next few years
and then send them on their way.
I want it to count.
I want to spend my time on what matters.

I saw this quote on a friend's blog.
It said,
"Life is art."
I keep seeing those words.
It evoked an emotional response in me.
Life is not art.
I mean, make it lovely,
decorate your life with beautiful things,
and traditions, and people.
But life is not art.
Life is Jesus.
Jesus is LIFE.
Real life, abundant life, is Jesus.

So I guess what matters is not
how I respond to people
or how I spend my time
or what will happen when my kids leave
or how well I educate them
or how detailed my lesson plans are.
What matters is that I have a
direct connection to Jesus.
Every day.
Every moment.
No holds barred.

lvb